A Man Called Hawkes
by Vinsmouse
Summary: The tale of the Hawkes family in the Sierra Nevadas, their tragedies and triumphs. AU story set in 1860s and 70s
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own High Mountain Rangers, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: AU, Angst, Violence

Summary: A tale of the Hawkes family in the Sierra Nevadas, their tragedies and triumphs.

A/N: This story is set in the 1860s and 70s. While I will do my best to keep the story historically accurate, some things will necessarily change in order to fit the story. Lake Tahoe was first discovered by white men in 1844 and was first used as a resort town for the nearby Virginia City in 1864. The main industries in the area were mining and lumber. While the Shoshone of that time didn't live in the area, they did visit the Tahoe region each summer to hunt, fish and gather medicinal plants. All of the names of the characters will essentially be the same, with the exception of Frank Avila. As a Shoshone of this time wouldn't have used a white name, he will be known by his call sign from the show; White Eagle.

A Man Called Hawkes

Chapter 1

A smile spread over his face as Jesse took in the view before him. This was it, the land he would claim for his family. Yes sir, life in these mountains, surrounded by beauty, would be as peaceful as any he could ever hope to give his family. Consulting the map he carried, Jesse checked it against the landmarks in front of him. It wouldn't do to stake his claim only to find out he'd claimed the wrong quarter section.

When Jesse had first struck out on his own he never would have thought he would end up here. He had been happy as a sheriff back in Colorado territory, but then had come the bank robbery that changed everything. Jesse had never considered himself a coward, neither was he a foolhardy man. As the bullet had entered his side on that fateful day, he had found himself praying that his son would never forget him. He had woke up three days later, surprised beyond measure to find himself alive. Within minutes, Jacklyn had been by his side, her beautiful eyes filled with a combination of fear and relief. He never wanted to see such fear there again.

By the time he'd recovered, the decision had been made. He would quit his job as sheriff and they would move further west. Lay claim to a homestead, somewhere they could raise their son without the fear of some outlaw leaving his family to find a way to survive without him. He'd seen too many women left to raise children alone to ever want his beautiful Jacklyn to suffer the cruel fate that had been visited upon the widows of men taken before their time.

Several hours later, he rode into the small town that sat on the shores of Lake Tahoe. If he hurried he would be able to make it to the land office before it closed.

"May I help you?"

Jesse grinned, "Yes sir, I'd like to file a claim."

Ben Tucker nearly bit his tongue in half as he choked down the snide remark that rose to the surface. "Of course, do you have the application ready?"

Jesse fished the document from his pocket and laid it on the counter, smoothing it out. "Right here," he announced unnecessarily.

Ben took the document, quickly reading it over. "Well Mr. Hawkes everything seems to be in order." Dipping his pen in the inkwell, Ben quickly certified the document. "Welcome to the Sierras Mr. Hawkes," Ben smiled, reaching over to shake the other man's hand.

"Thank you," Jesse smiled in return. Pocketing his receipt, he hurried off to join his wife and son.

Jacklyn sighed, raking a hand through her thick blond hair. She hoped Jesse returned soon, Matt was becoming more restless and harder to keep at the wagon with each passing hour. Ordinarily her son was a well-mannered little boy, but when he grew restless the devil himself couldn't keep up with him.

"Pa! Pa!" Matt cried out, running towards his father.

Jesse grinned and reached down to take Matt by the arm, hauling him onto the horse to sit in front of him.

"Did you get it Pa? Did ya?"

"I went after it didn't I?" Jesse asked.

Matt nodded.

"Well what do you think?"

Matt giggled, "You got it?"

Jesse gave the little boy a squeeze, "I got it," he confirmed.

Jacklyn looked up at her husband and son, a soft smile on her lips. "Well? Don't keep me in suspense Jess."

He dismounted, lowering Matt to the ground first. Stepping forward, he wrapped his arms around his wife. "I got it darlin and a prettier piece of land you'll never see," he smiled, kissing her soundly.

Jacklyn smiled. "Thank goodness," she sighed. "Supper should be ready by the time you get your horse settled and wash up."

"But Ma ain't we gonna go to our new place tonight?" Matt nearly whined. Of course he hadn't whined. Big boys didn't whine and he was a big boy of five, almost six.

"Aren't we going to and no we're not," Jesse corrected. "It's too late to start off tonight son, we'll leave right after breakfast." He tousled the boy's hair and took his hand. "Come on now, you can tell me all about your day while I unsaddle the horse."

Jacklyn gave him a grateful smile, mouthing the words thank you. She watched them walk away for a few seconds, her heart swelling with the love she felt for her family. Her only regret was that they hadn't been able to give Matt any brothers or sisters. The three pregnancies she'd had after Matt had all ended in miscarriage or stillbirths. Maybe living in the crisp, fresh air of the mountains would make a difference. Sighing, she turned away and walked back to the campfire. There was no point in speculating, if God intended to bless them with more children, he would.

The next day saw them climbing into the mountains. It was a day Jacklyn had despaired of ever seeing. She would be glad to stop traveling. "Are there any neighbors Jesse?"

"There's a bachelor that lives a few miles to the west of us and I saw another family a few miles before our place. Before you ask, I didn't get their names. Fact is, I didn't even speak to them, I wanted to get back to town to file the claim."

"Of course," Jacklyn smiled. She hoped the family Jesse spoke of was nice. She wondered if they had any children near Matt's age. She agreed with Jesse about moving away from the towns. Never again did Jacklyn want to see her husband shot down in the street. She could still feel the fear that had spiked through her that day as if it had happened only minutes ago. Still, she was glad there would be other people nearby, providing them all with some company other than their own. "Did you notice if they had any children?"

Jesse smiled over at her, "Tell you what, why don't we stop there and introduce ourselves."

"We don't have to do that," Jacklyn sighed. She knew Jesse wanted to get to the homestead. Truthfully, she did as well. They could meet the neighbors another time.

"It's alright darlin," Jesse squeezed her hand. "Be a good idea to meet them anyway. I'm sure they'll be a big help to us in getting settled and we to them."

That had been hours ago. The ride that had taken Jesse four hours to make, had taken them twice as long in the wagon. Finally, however, they pulled up in front of a small cabin. Jacklyn smiled at the woman standing in the doorway, one hand behind her. It was a pose Jacklyn easily recognized, the other woman was keeping one or more children in the cabin until their father ascertained the intentions of the folks on their doorstep.

"Can I help you folks?" a gruff man who looked to be a few years younger than Jesse asked.

"I'm Jesse Hawkes," he introduced himself.

"Bill Cutler," the younger man replied, shaking Jesse's hand.

"We just filed claim on the quarter section near Carson meadow."

Bill smiled, "I recollect the spot ya mean, it's a real nice one. Why don't you folks come on in and visit for a few minutes? I'm sure our womenfolk would like to meet."

Jesse nodded. Turning to the wagon, he helped his wife down as Matt jumped down from the back of the wagon. One hand on the small of Jacklyn's back, he guided her to the door.

"This is my wife Sarah," Bill said, one hand wrapped around the pretty redhead now standing next to him. "Sarah, this is Jesse Hawkes and his wife...?"

"Jacklyn," Jesse supplied. "Our son Matt," he added, nodding to the blond who was currently eyeing a boy about his age and a girl a couple of years younger. "Darlin this is Bill Cutler," Jesse introduced his wife.

"It's very nice to meet you both," Sarah smiled. "Won't you come in," she invited.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Cutler," Jacklyn smiled, "Mr. Cutler," she nodded.

"Jimmy you play nice with Matt now and look out for your sister," Sarah called over her shoulder as she took Jacklyn's arm and led her inside.

"Yes ma'am," Jimmy acknowledged the order. "How old are you?" he asked the blond after the women went inside and the men moved to the small corral.

"I'm almost six," Matt proudly declared. "How old are you?"

Jimmy smirked, "I'm almost seven," he countered. "You should play with Molly, she's five, same as you." He wouldn't be seven for six more months, but he wasn't letting this little runt know that.

"I ain't playing with no girl," Matt glared at the older boy.

"Who says I want to play with you anyway?" Molly snapped. Delivering a stinging slap to the blond's face, she turned on her heel and flounced into the house.

Matt looked around quickly to see if his father had witnessed the scene. If his Pa knew he'd upset a girl he'd be in big trouble. Of course it probably didn't matter he thought as he realized that Molly was most likely right this minute telling both their mothers what had happened.

Jimmy saw the look on his face and felt a moment of pity. "Don't worry, she won't tell," he whispered.

"She won't?"

"Nah, Molly ain't like that."

"I didn't mean to hurt her feelings."

Jimmy shrugged, "She'll get over it," he assured the other boy. "You ever seen a two-headed snake?"

"There ain't no such thing," Matt scoffed.

"Sure is," Jimmy countered. "I've got one," he boasted.

Matt's eyed him skeptically, "Really?"

Jimmy nodded, "Don't know if I should let you see it though. You'll probably run off screaming like a baby."

Matt glared, stepping up to the other boy, his fists clenched at his sides. "I ain't a baby," he declared. He looked Jimmy right in the eye, his green eyes hard and unyielding. He smiled when the older boy blinked and took a step back. "You probably ain't got one anyway."

"I do too," Jimmy hotly declared.

"Prove it," came the immediate challenge.

"Come on," Jimmy said, turning and leading the way to his secret spot several yards from the cabin. Crouching down behind a small hillock, he reached for the lid of a packing box with holes drilled into the sides for air. "You sure ya ain't gonna scream?"

Matt just glared.

"I was just asking," Jimmy sighed as he pulled the lid off and reached into the box.

Matt strained to peek over the older boy's shoulder. His eyes grew wide. "Golly, where'd you get him?"

"Found him," Jimmy replied. "Can't tell ya where, it's a secret."

Matt swallowed his disappointment, he hadn't really expected the other boy to tell him where he'd found the snake. "What kind is he?"

"I don't know his proper name but the injuns call him a two-headed snake," Jimmy answered in a tone of superiority.

"Matt! Where are you boy?"

The boys started at the call from the front of the cabin. "Guess we're leaving," Matt sighed. He had just opened his mouth to ask if he could hold the small green snake when his father had called to him. Reluctantly he stood up and hurried back to the front yard of the small cabin. "I'm right here Pa."

Jesse smiled, "Climb into the wagon, we need to get on our way if we're going to make it to our claim before nightfall."

"Yes sir," Matt nodded.

TBC

Hope y'all liked this first chapter. Please feed the muse with reviews.

A/N: I'm not sure when Jackie began to be used as a nickname for Jacklyn or Jacqueline, hence my use of Jacklyn rather than Jackie.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own High Mountain Rangers, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Rating: FRT

A Man Called Hawkes

Chapter 2

Jacklyn smiled softly, one hand drifting to her belly as the other flipped another griddlecake onto the stack at the back of the stove. She couldn't explain the confidence she felt, with several lost babies behind her she should be more nervous than happy. Perhaps she was deceiving herself, but somehow Jacklyn knew that this time was different. This babe would live to see his mountain home, he would grow strong and tall in the fresh, crisp air of the Sierras. She suppressed the giddy laugh that wanted to bubble to the surface. She could hardly wait for Jesse to get home so she could share her precious secret. With Christmas only a week away she had considered waiting until then to share the news, but had quickly discarded that idea. It would be impossible to contain her secret that long.

She heard the door open and close behind her. "Did you get the horses taken care of?"

"Yes Ma," Matt replied.

"Get washed up then, breakfast is nearly ready."

"Yes ma'am." Pouring some fresh water into the basin, the young boy hurried to obey. "Do you think Pa will be home today?" he asked as he slid into his seat.

"I hope so," Jacklyn smiled. "I suppose it depends on what he finds in his traps. You miss your Pa don't you?"

"It's kind of lonely without him here," Matt admitted.

"Yes it is," Jacklyn agreed. They ate in silence for a few minutes.

"Ma, can I ask you a question?"

"May I and yes you may."

Matt hesitated, "Could I do my lessons later?"

"Matthew Hawkes you know that chores and lessons come before fun," she admonished him.

"I know Ma, but there's something I need to do before Pa gets home."

Jacklyn tilted her head, "Something you neglected to do?"

"No ma'am," Matt quickly denied. "I've been taking care of all the chores, it's..."

"It's what honey?"

Matt blushed. "I been making him a Christmas present."

Jacklyn smiled, understanding now. "Oh, well I suppose that is a good reason for delaying lessons."

Matt looked up, his green eyes shining with happiness. Jumping up, he hurried to the door for his coat. Quickly pulling on coat and gloves, he reached for the door latch. At the last moment, he turned back and ran to his mother, giving her a quick hug. "Thanks Ma," he grinned.

Jacklyn returned the contagious grin. She nearly laughed as the boy turned away and raced out the door. Caressing her belly once more, she began to clean up the breakfast things. Matt had the right idea, she thought to herself. When she was done cleaning she would spend a little time working on gifts as well. She had finished Jesse's new shirt last night and was nearly finished with the new mittens for Matt. It wouldn't take long to finish them up and while her son was outside working on his own project it would be a good time for it.

Matt ran to the barn, hurrying to the back corner where he had hidden the gift for his father. He had been really lucky to find this small log in the woodpile. It was eight inches long and of a good diameter for what he had planned. He had begun his work by removing the bark from the small chunk of oak. He had then sanded the wood, until it was as smooth as he could get it. The hardest part had been using his father's gouge to dig out a nice sized hole for the storage part of the box he was making. Once he'd done that, he'd used his a pocket knife to carve the piece he'd removed down to a smaller size, turning it into a lid. The best part was the knob that had been growing from the center of the log, right where he needed to gouge his storage hole. That knob would make the perfect handle for the lid. The project had become easier after that. He'd only needed to sand the inside of the box and underside of the lid, cut off the rounded bottom so the box would sit steady. All he had left to do was applying the shellac to protect the wood and Pa's new tobacco box would be ready for Christmas. His mother's present was already finished. With help from his father he had made her a small stool to rest her feet on while she sat in front of the fire.

* * *

It was another two days before Jesse arrived back at the small cabin, his sledge loaded with pelts. He ignored the desire to hurry into the house, turning instead for the barn. On his return trip he had watched the sky carefully, worrying the entire time that he wouldn't make it home before the brewing storm struck, cursing himself for a fool the whole way. He never should have taken the time to treat the pelts in camp. He could have done it when he got home, but the hides were easier to work when fresh. Jacklyn would probably rather not have to deal with him preparing the pelts at the cabin either for that matter. Oh well, he sighed, it was done now and he'd made it home just as the snow had begun to fall, so no harm done. Working with an economy of movement, he stored the pelts in the back of the barn. He would take them to town in the spring, trading them for the seeds and other supplies they would need.

"Pa!"

Jesse scooped the blond bundle of energy up as he stepped into the cabin, tossing him into the air and easily catching him. "Don't tell me you missed me?" he teased.

Matt giggled, "Lots and lots."

Jesse shared a grin with his wife, "Lots and lots?"

Matt nodded, "You almost missed Christmas."

Jesse frowned, "Why it's only October, isn't it?"

Matt giggled, "No sir! It's December...um..." He paused as he took a moment to count on his fingers. Ma had said Christmas was in five days and Christmas was on the 25th, so... "It's the 20th," he very seriously informed his father.

"Well that explains it," Jesse nodded as if just figuring something out.

Matt tilted his head to the side, "Explains what?"

"Why the snow falling outside," Jesse replied, winking at his wife.

Jacklyn held a hand to her mouth, stifling her laughter at the look of excitement on her son's face.

"It's snowing? Can I go outside and play?" Matt asked, bouncing in his father's arms.

"You can go onto the porch but no further."

"Aw Pa..."

"No Matthew," Jesse stopped the complaint before it could fully form. "I raced the storm all the way here, if it starts coming down heavy, like I expect, you could lose your way."

"I wouldn't," Matt promised.

Jesse sat the boy on the floor and dropped to one knee so they were face to face. "I know you wouldn't mean to son, but if the wind starts blowing the snow around it could make it confusing for anybody, even a grown man."

"You wouldn't get lost Pa."

"Yes I could and so could you. Once it stops snowing you'll get the chance to play in it," Jesse promised.

"But what if it melts before I can?"

Jesse chuckled softly. "This isn't like down in the valleys son, once it snows up here it'll stay until spring. Truthfully this is pretty late, this high up, for the first snow of the season. That's one reason I'm afraid this storm may be a bad one. Now will you promise to stay on the porch and to come inside if the wind starts blowing hard?"

"Yes sir," Matt solemnly promised, finally realizing the seriousness of a snowstorm up here. "Pa?"

"Yes son?"

"If it storms how will you take care of the animals without getting lost?"

"Why do you think I strung your Ma's clothesline between the house and the barn?"

Matt thought about it for a moment. He smiled when the answer came to him, "You can hold onto it so you won't get lost."

"Exactly," Jesse smiled proudly, ruffling his son's hair. "Now go on outside and stay on the porch."

"I will Pa," Matt promised. Grabbing his coat, he quickly slipped out the door before his mother could say no.

Jesse crossed the floor, taking his wife in his arms. "And what about you Mrs. Hawkes, did you miss me?"

"Lots and lots," she whispered. The next moment her breath was stolen as Jesse pressed his lips to hers. "Did you have a good trip?"

"I surely did," Jesse replied. "Got enough pelts to get most of the supplies we'll need come spring. I reset the traps and I'll go back out later to see what I got. Even if this next round doesn't yield a lot of pelts, it should make up the difference in what we need for supplies and leave us with some extra for a rainy day."

"That's wonderful news Jesse," Jacklyn smiled. Already her mind was thinking of all they would need to buy and perhaps a few small extras to ease their lives. "I have some news too."

"I don't need to find some coal for a certain little boy's stocking do I?"

Jacklyn giggled, "No, no, Matt was an angel."

Jesse raised an eyebrow, "An angel?"

"Well maybe not an angel, but he was very good and quite helpful."

"So what is this news?"

Jacklyn took his hand and laid it on her belly, "Merry Christmas Jesse."

"A baby?" he asked in a wonder filled voice. "Are you sure?"

It was time for Jacklyn's eyebrow to go up, "Very."

"A baby," Jesse whispered, caressing his wife's belly again. "Hallelujah!" he shouted, lifting her up and spinning her around as his shouts of joy filled the small cabin.

******************

Christmas morning dawned bright and cold. "Ma! Pa! Santa came! Santa came!" Matt yelled, waking his parents.

"We'll be there in a minute son," Jesse called. He was glad he'd had the help of Bill Cutler when he'd built their cabin. If it had been only him and Jacklyn they would have likely only had one room for the three of them to share. However, with Bill's help, he had been able to build a cabin with a main room, a bedroom for them and a small loft for Matt. "I suppose we'll have to get up," he sighed.

"Well we could stay in bed," Jacklyn said, "if you don't mind being bounced on by forty pounds of energetic boy. Myself, I'm going to get up." So saying, she kissed him lightly and threw back the covers.

Jesse shivered as cold air seeped under the quilts on the bed. "Now I know where Matt gets it from," he playfully complained.

"Gets what from?" Jacklyn asked as she slipped into her robe.

"He doesn't play fair either."

Her throaty laughter filled the room. She was still chuckling when she stepped into the main room.

"Can I see what's in my stocking now?" Matt asked as soon as she entered the room.

Jacklyn watched Matt standing near the fireplace, jumping up and down as he tried to peak into his stocking. She stifled her laughter. "Why don't we wait for your Pa? I'm sure he'd like to see what Santa brought you."

"Of course I do," Jesse confirmed, stepping into the room and over to the fireplace. "Go ahead son, let's see what the old elf brought," he said as he handed the filled stocking to Matt.

"Yes sir," Matt grinned. Taking the stocking, he plopped down on the floor where he stood and began to pull items from the bulging sock. His eyes were shining with pleasure as he pulled the treasures from the stocking. A peppermint stick, a small cake covered with powdered sugar, a new pair of mittens and a slingshot.

"I don't suppose you're interested in what is under the tree?" Jesse teased.

Reminded of the small tree in the corner, Matt gathered his small treasures and hurried to sit beside it. He waited as patiently as he could for his father to pass out the presents.

Kneeling on the floor, Jesse pulled a package from under the tree. "This seems to be for your Ma," he told Matt, giving him a wink. "Why don't you take it to her?"

Matt took the package, carrying it to his mother with pride in each step. "Merry Christmas Ma," he said, giving the package over. "It's from me and Pa."

"Thank you Matt, I'm sure I'll love it." Carefully removing the ribbon, she took her time revealing the contents of the package. An action that she could see was leaving her son frustrated. She grinned as a small growl sounded and she realized he wasn't the only one who was feeling impatient. "Oh my," she gasped as she finally saw the small footstool that had laid hidden in the folds of paper. "It's wonderful," she smiled. "So well made, and pretty too."

"You really like it Ma?" Matt had to ask, fearful in the way of children everywhere that his mother was only being nice.

"I love it honey. It will be so nice to rest my feet on after a long day. Thank you Matt," she added, leaning down to kiss his cheek. Glancing over at Jesse, she gave him a happy smile.

The next present was for Jesse, the shirt made for him by his wife's loving hands. "It's a beautiful shirt darlin and I was sorely needing a new one." He reached for the last two packages, "Well let's see...hmmm...does this say Matt?" he asked his son.

Matt nodded as he took the present from his father. Unlike his mother, he made no effort to save the paper covering the gift. "A sled!" he cried out, his eyes wider than they'd been all morning. "I'm gonna go ride down the hill," he declared as he jumped to his feet.

Jesse grabbed the boy around the waist, stopping him in his tracks. "Don't you think you should get dressed first son?"

Matt blushed, "Yes sir."

"You go get dressed and after breakfast you can go play with you new sled."

He looked down at the floor, his blush growing when he saw the last present sitting there. "I'll get dressed after you open your gift Pa."

Jesse smiled. "Oh is this mine?" he asked, pretending surprise.

Matt nodded. Suddenly he was too nervous to speak. What if his father didn't like the gift he'd worked so hard making?

"I guess I better open it then." Pulling the package to him, he slowly opened it. All teasing gone from his voice, he quietly asked in an awed voice, "Did you make this by yourself son?"

Matt nodded again.

"It's wonderful Matthew," he smiled. "I couldn't have done a better job myself."

Matt beamed, "Thanks Pa. It's for your tobacco," he added.

"I thought so," Jesse smiled. He was glad the boy had told him, he wasn't sure he would have realized it on his own. "Thank you son," he said, giving the boy a tight hug.

* * *

Christmas had come and gone, as had the dawning of a new year. It was nearing February and just this morning Jacklyn had felt the flutter of the baby's movement within her womb. The smile hadn't left her face yet. Not even the need to visit the privy in the cold of the night could dampen her good spirits. "Oh bother," she sighed as she felt a small prick to the back of her thigh. She would have to remember to say something to Jesse when she went inside, obviously the seat needed to be smoothed again. It wasn't until she stood up and held the lantern near the wood that she realized it hadn't been a splinter but rather a spider bite. She shuddered, her hand dropping to her belly when she recognized the spider.

"What is it?" Jesse asked. The sight of Jacklyn's pale face bringing a start to his heart. Jumping to his feet, he hurried to her side, taking the lantern from her tight grip.

"A spider," Jacklyn whispered.

"What?"

"A black widow spider," she replied, her voice filled with fear. "It bit me." She turned to Jesse, wrapping her arms around him as she began to tremble. "Please Jesse, tell me I won't lose this baby," she plead. "I can't lose this babe too Jess."

TBC

I know, rotten place to end the chapter...I'm evil that way. Y'all know the routine, please feed the muse with reviews.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own High Mountain Rangers, not making any money, just cheap thrills

Rating: FRT

A Man Called Hawkes

Chapter 3

"Cody Jamison Hawkes you'd better not be bothering my chickens again," Jacklyn warned as she stepped out of the cabin. Her hand went to her chest. "Cody, come here sweetheart," she quietly called to her three-year old.

Cody looked between his mother and the strange boy who had appeared as if by magic from the nearby woods. He really wanted to talk to the boy, but he knew better than to disobey his mother. Turning his back on the boy, he trotted over to his mother.

Jacklyn didn't breathe again until her son was by her side. Gently guiding her son, she moved him behind her as her other hand drew the small revolver from her pocket. She'd thought that Jesse was being paranoid when he handed her the small pocket revolver a couple of months ago, but now she was thankful for his concern. "What do you want?" she asked, forcing her voice to remain calm. The boy in front of her couldn't be much older than Matt, but unlike her son he was a savage and old enough to kill.

White Eagle tilted his head to the side. It amused him that the woman thought he meant to hurt her or the little one. The whites always expected The People to harm them. Amusement fled, sadness taking its place. So fearful were the whites that they attacked anybody who belonged to The People, even the children, some younger than the one peaking from behind the woman's skirts. "No harm," White Eagle replied. "Medicine," he said, drawing out a bundle of plants from the leather pouch at his waist.

"You're gathering plants?" Jacklyn asked, relaxing for the first time since stepping from the cabin.

White Eagle nodded. He understood her language just fine, speaking it was the challenge. "White Eagle," he said, tapping his chest. Pointing at her and the little one, he signed his desire to know their names.

She smiled now, he was just a boy after all, not the fearsome warrior she'd supposed at first. "Jacklyn Hawkes," she said, placing her hand on her chest. "This is my son Cody," she continued, bringing Cody from behind her.

"Hi," Cody shyly said. "You an indian?"

White Eagle smiled sadly, the young one reminding him of his own small brother lost to the white man's disease two winters past. "Shoshone," he proudly replied.

Cody looked at his ma, a question in his deep blue eyes.

Jacklyn smiled down at him, "Yes Cody he's an indian. Shoshone is an indian tribe."

Cody nodded and turned back to White Eagle. Before his mother could stop him, he ran off the porch, coming to a stop in front of the indian and held out his hand. He grinned when White Eagle solemnly took his hand, firmly shaking it once and then releasing him.

"Pehnaho," White Eagle greeted the boy. "Hello," he added as the boy looked at him in confusion.

"Pennyho," Cody dutifully responded.

White Eagle smiled, hiding his amusement at the mangling of the word. He knew children too had pride, it wouldn't be right to step on that pride.

"Are you alone?" Jacklyn asked.

"Others look for medicine," he replied, throwing his arm out in a gesture that encompassed the mountains and woods. "Your man has kuittsun?"

"Kuittson?" Jacklyn carefully pronounced the word. She smiled when the boy raised his hands to either side of his head, extending one finger on each hand and lowing as a cow would. "Yes...kuittson, cattle," she confirmed.

"Cattle," White Eagle repeated the unfamiliar word, feeling it rolling over his tongue. "No cut trees?" he asked. He had thought when he first saw the cabin that they must be with the whites who were taking the trees from the mountains.

Jacklyn shook her head, "Only what we need for firewood and to clear land for our few crops."

"Is good," White Eagle nodded his approval.

Cody tugged on his mother's skirt. "Can White Eagle have lunch?"

"May," Jacklyn automatically corrected her small son. "Would you like to eat with us?" she politely asked. She was glad Cody had asked as she belatedly remembered some of her husband's suggestions for dealing with the local indians if she ever encountered them. She could hardly believe that it had taken this long. Jesse had told them that the Shoshone came to the area every summer to fish, gather plants and generally socialize with each other.

"Your man like?" White Eagle asked. He knew the woman's husband wasn't here, but he had no idea when he would return and the young man had no wish to die today.

"No, no, Jesse wouldn't mind," Jacklyn assured him.

Over lunch they talked, after a fashion, each of them learning a few more words of the other's language. White Eagle spoke of his people, the pride and love he felt easily seen in his eyes. It was a pride and love shared in equal measure by Jacklyn as she spoke of her husband and sons.

"Little one not go with appe, father?" White Eagle asked.

"Oh no, he's too young to go with Jesse and Matt," Jacklyn quickly explained.

White Eagle frowned. The boy was young, it was true, but if he was to learn to be a man he had to spend time with men. "Not woman...man, must learn," White Eagle firmly said.

It took Jacklyn a moment to understand what the boy was trying to tell her. It was a familiar argument. Jesse had been trying to get her to let Cody explore beyond the are around the cabin for a couple of months now. "He's only three," she replied, giving this boy the same excuse she gave to her husband. She knew she was a little over-protective when it came to her youngest, but she couldn't help it. She had been so frightened as the poison from that black widow spider traveled through her when she was carrying him, bringing with it pain the like of which she hadn't felt since her last miscarriage. She had been sure she would lose this babe too. She had prayed as she lay in her bed, promising God that she would never take the blessing of her children for granted if only he would allow her baby to survive. Jacklyn had never forgotten that promise.

White Eagle said no more, recognizing by the stubborn set of her jaw that the woman would not be convinced. It was too bad, the boy could grow to be a strong man if he were allowed to be as a boy should. Still it was clear that the little one was a brave child, standing his ground when he first saw him rather than running away. It had only been when the mother arrived that the boy had tried to hide and White Eagle thought that was more because of the woman than the child's natural way.

"Can you come see me again?" Cody asked, interrupting the older boy's thoughts and unwittingly giving him an idea.

White Eagle smiled. His people saw him as a young man, but he knew that to the whites he was but a boy himself. Maybe he could use that. "Teach me to talk more good?" he asked.

Cody grinned, turning to his mother. "Can I ma? Please," he added, turning the full force of his big blue eyes on her.

"I suppose you may," Jacklyn hesitantly replied. "If your father says it's okay." She didn't think Jesse would say no, he was always saying that they should learn to live with those who were here first. Besides, White Eagle seemed like a nice boy, for an indian. "You'll stay near the house?" she asked the older boy.

White Eagle nodded. Even if the woman never allowed him to take the boy from the sight of the house he could help teach the little one how to be a strong man. "Teach now?"

They spent the afternoon sitting outside, using sticks to draw pictures in the dirt as they taught each other their languages and though Cody didn't know it, some of the Shohone way as well. It was to this scene that Jesse and Matt returned.

"Cody get away from him," Matt ordered. Striding forward, he grabbed his younger brother's arm and pulled him towards their father. "You shouldn't be playing with him, he's an injun," Matt admonished the younger boy.

"Matthew," Jesse warned before his oldest could say anything else. The boy had been spending too much time with the Cutlers. Jesse liked Bill, but the man made no secret of his hatred and distrust for all indians. It was an attitude that was beginning to rub off on his son and he didn't like it.

"But Pa he's a filthy..."

"Matthew Robert Hawkes," Jesse snapped. "I would suggest you not finish that sentence young man." He smiled down at Cody, the boy didn't seem to be hurt nor frightened. "You gonna introduce us to your friend son?"

"Yes sir," Cody nodded uncertainly. Pa didn't seem upset, but Matt obviously didn't like his new friend. Pulling away from his brother's hold, he took Jesse's hand and led him over to where White Eagle now stood. "This is White Eagle Pa," he said. "I'm teaching him to talk gooder," he proudly explained.

"Better son, you're teaching him to talk better," Jesse smiled. "Hello, I'm Jesse Hawkes," he said, holding out his hand to the boy. He was relieved when the boy took it. "This is my other son Matt," he added.

Matt stepped forward, sullenly mumbling a greeting. The look on his father's face clearly told him that he'd better be polite, though he didn't understand why they were being polite to an injun.

"Is my wife in the house?" Jesse asked.

"She cooks," White Eagle replied. "Little one teaches me, I teach him."

"I'm a tuine," Cody told his father. "That means boy," he helpfully explained.

Jesse smiled, "That's very good son. Now, why don't you and your brother take our packages into the house for your mother."

"Yes sir," Cody grinned. "Come on Matt." He grabbed his brother's hand and pulled him towards the pack horse.

White Eagle braced himself, he was sure that Cody's father was about to tell him that he had to leave.

"Do your people know you're here?"

White Eagle hid his surprise. "I gather medicine," he explained. "I go all, everywhere."

"So they don't know?" Jesse frowned, he didn't want any trouble with the Shoshone. "Maybe you should tell somebody where you are before they worry."

"Not worry," White Eagle shook his head. "I'm a man...not tuine."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you White Eagle," Jesse quickly apologized.

"You want me to go?" White Eagle asked. He suspected that was the real reason for Jesse's words.

Jesse shook his head, "You're welcome here anytime White Eagle. I just don't want any trouble for any of us."

White Eagle grinned. He had seen this man in the last few years, moving through the woods with confidence and strength, he hadn't expected him to be as frightened as the other whites. "Why trouble?"

Jesse shrugged uncertainly, he didn't want to chance offending the boy again. "I don't suppose there will be, as long as your people are okay with you coming here. Will you stay to supper?" he asked, hoping to soothe any feathers he had ruffled.

"Please White Eagle, please," Cody begged as he joined them.

He looked between father and son, seeing nothing but sincere welcome on their faces. Glancing behind them he saw the older boy. There was one who did not welcome him. "I will stay," he decided. Perhaps it would be uncomfortable but he could not teach the little one to be a man if he didn't not act as a man.

TBC

I know it's a bit boring, but it was necessary for the transition to later events. Hope y'all liked it, please feed the muse with reviews, she's getting quite hungry.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own High Mountain Rangers, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: OOC(Out of Character)

Rating: FRT

Bold is thoughts.

A Man Called Hawkes

Chapter 4

Matt glared over the top of his brother's head at White Eagle . He didn't understand why Cody wanted to spend so much time with a dirty injun, or why his parents were allowing it. Pa had tried to convince him that injuns weren't all bad, that just like any other race of man there were good and bad. In all of his almost eleven years he had never disagreed with his father. It gave him a sick feeling in his gut to do so now. Yet, his father had taught him that a man had to follow his own path in life and to stand up for what he believed to be true. It was ironic that it was this teaching which had led him to disagree with his own father. The sick feeling grew as he watched Cody sitting with White Eagle, the two of them drawing in the dirt and talking in a combination of English and Shoshone.

"I'm sorry White Eagle," Cody tried once more to apologize for his brother.

"Did you tell him to stay away?" White Eagle asked. His english had improved a great deal in the past two moons and the daily visits with his young friend.

Cody quickly shook his head.

"Then you do not say sorry," White Eagle firmly told him. "He is qai denangande, you can do not ba'i until he does."

"Haa," Cody sadly agreed. He might only be almost four but he knew White Eagle was right. As long as Matt refused to listen there wasn't anything he could do.

"In this he is deaipedi," White Eagle said, bringing a giggle from the younger boy.

Jesse frowned as he watched the three boys. "Matt, come over here."

Matt looked up in surprise. Hesitantly he moved away from his brother and the injun, shooting glances over his shoulder as he walked to where his father sat with his traps. "Yes Pa?" He hoped whatever it was wouldn't take long. He needed to keep an eye on that filthy injun to make sure he didn't hurt Cody.

Jesse ignored the way his oldest kept trying to watch his brother while still remaining respectful to him. "Some of these traps are going to need repaired before winter."

"Yes sir," Matt agreed. "Do you want me to do that?" he asked. He didn't mind the idea a bit as it would allow him to remain near enough to watch over his brother.

"No son," Jesse shook his head. He hid a smile. He knew exactly what Matt was thinking. "You're not strong enough to be wrestling some of these traps, but I do need you to go down to the pasture and check the fence, it's been a few days since I checked it." Since he didn't run a large number of cattle, only having room for twenty-five head or less, he need only check the fence every few days.

"Aw Pa, do I have to?" Matt asked. His face colored in shame as he heard the whine in his voice. He was ten, eleven in a few days, and he was acting like he was Cody's age. He sighed. "I'm sorry Pa, I'll take care of it now."

"Come get me if there are any big repairs to make," Jesse told him.

"Yes sir," Matt nodded. Walking off to the barn, he saddled his pony and tossed his saddle-bags, holding a hammer and some nails, across the broad back. Swinging himself into the saddle, he reluctantly left the small yard, riding in the direction of the meadow they used for pasturing the cattle. He would have rather stayed and watched over Cody, but he didn't dare disobey his father. He would just have to be content with the knowledge that his father was still at the house to watch over his brother.

Protecting the cattle was a very important job and part of that was keeping the fence in good repair. He wished he wasn't worried about Cody so he could enjoy the rare freedom of being off by himself, entrusted with such an important job. Though they didn't raise a lot of cattle, being so close to a mining town and the lumber operations his father could get a better price for his steers than he could have elsewhere, making it worthwhile. He knew, from listening to his father explain things to his mother, that it was the money he would get from selling cattle, along with the few pelts he gathered each winter, that would provide them with the cash they needed each year for seed and other things.

"Will you be here for my birthday White Eagle?"

White Eagle gave him a confused look. "What is birthday?"

Cody grew wide-eyed. "You don't know what a birthday is?" He giggled, he thought everybody knew what birthdays were.

White Eagle patiently waited for the little one to stop laughing. "Explain," he tersely ordered when the laughter died.

"It...Pa!" Cody yelled.

Jesse dropped the trap he was working on, hurrying over to his son. "What is it Cody?" he anxiously asked as he scooped the boy up. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm not hurt Pa," Cody quickly replied, struggling to be set back on the ground. He wasn't a baby anymore.

Jesse ruefully put the boy down. Apparently Jacklyn wasn't the only one who was over-protective of their youngest. He dropped to one knee, "What's wrong then son?"

"He don't know what a birthday is," he said, pointing a grubby finger at White Eagle.

Jesse grabbed Cody's finger, pushing it down. "Don't point son," he gently admonished. "A birthday is the day a person is born," he explained to White Eagle. "We celebrate the anniversary of a person's birth each year on the day they were born." He saw that the boy was still puzzled. "Your people don't celebrate birthdays?"

"Celebrate?"

Jesse sighed, this would be more difficult than he had thought. "When your people have a good hunt, you dance and sing and feast?"

"Haa," White Eagle nodded.

"That is a celebration."

"You do this celebration on the boy's birthday?" White Eagle asked, stumbling a bit over the new words.

"Well not as much as you might for a successful hunt, but we do sing and have cake and gifts for the birthday boy," Jesse explained with a smile.

"Ah," White Eagle nodded, he understood now. "Cody has birthday soon?"

"Yes he does, in a little less than two weeks he will be four years old. You're welcome to join us for some cake if you like."

"I will," White Eagle agreed. He smiled as the young boy yelled his delight at this news. "I must go now." He stood up and turned without another word, walking away into the woods. He had spent enough time here. He needed to return to his responsibilities. He would return again the next day.

Cody yelled good-bye, not bothered when the older boy only lifted his hand and kept walking. He was used to the way his friend would stand and announce that he had to leave. Matt said it was rude, but Pa said it was just the way White Eagle was, it wasn't a bad thing for him. Cody loved spending time with his older friend. He was learning how to talk like an indian and he was learning lots of things about living in the mountains. "Pa, did you know that we should thank Mother Earth for our food?"

Jesse smiled down at the boy. "Is that right?"

"Yes sir, that's what White Eagle says," Cody solemnly replied.

"Well son I think that's a fine idea, but it might be best if you don't tell your Ma or brother about that," Jesse cautioned. He was a Christian himself, but unlike most he respected the ways of others. It didn't seem right to him to suppose that Christians had all the answers. The good lord knew he'd seen plenty of behavior from so-called Christians that contradicted the words of the Bible. He'd also seen supposed savages offering the sort of behavior many white people thought them incapable of. No, he didn't think that Christians knew best, nor that the ways of the indians were wrong. Cody would grow up in these mountains, it would do him good to learn how to live in them from those who had always traveled within them.

Matt had just begun riding the perimeter of the fence line, searching for any breaks in the fence. He hadn't gone far when he saw a spot where a couple of boards had been knocked loose. Ground tying his pony, he grabbed his saddle bags and got to work.

White Eagle immediately began searching for useful plants as he walked away from the cabin. As he searched, he thought of possible gifts for his young friend. He would like to make the boy his chosen brother, but it was too soon for such a connection to be forged. Perhaps a medicine bag, no some members of his friend's family might not like that. Moccasins would be useful, but would require measuring the boy's feet so that he would know what gift he was to receive. A pouch? Yes, that would be perfect for a young boy. He would make him a deerskin pouch to carry the things he might find each day. Decision made, he turned his focus back to the task at hand.

Finished with the fence, Matt returned his tools to the saddlebag and climbed back on his pony. Halfway down the fence line something startled his pony. Matt just barely registered a flash of movement and then his horse was rearing up on hind legs and he was tumbling to the ground. There was an audible crack and Matt screamed as his wrist gave way. He whimpered as he helplessly watched his pony run off in fright, leaving him to make his own way back to the cabin. It didn't take a doctor to know that his wrist was broken, already it was swelling and turning colors. At least it wasn't his leg. He never would have made it home in that case. Pushing himself to his feet and holding his injured arm close to his chest, he began the trek back home. Halfway there he saw White Eagle and an idea came to him. It was wicked, he knew that, but he had to do something to keep that dirty injun away from his little brother. This was his best chance to do that. Ducking behind a tree, he hid until the older boy had passed him by.

Leaving his cover, he hurried towards home. Each step jostled his wrist, in spite of the way he cradled it, leaving him in tears by the time he had reached the cabin.

Jesse had still been working on his traps when Matt's pony had raced into the yard. Fearing the worst, he had looked the animal over for any clue to his son's fate. He hoped, when he saw no blood, that the horse had simply ran off due to fright. He couldn't assume, however, that his son wasn't hurt. Sending Cody inside to tell Jacklyn where he was going, he turned to Matt's pony an led it into the barn where he saddled his own horse. Leading the large animal from the structure, he swung himself into the saddle. He hadn't gone far when he saw Matt stumbling up the trail towards him. He was kneeling in front of his son within seconds of throwing himself from the saddle. "Matthew, what happened son? How badly are you hurt?"

Matt sniffled, "My arm's broke." Moving slowly, he held his arm out for his father to examine.

Jesse carefully cradled the small wrist in his strong hands. "I think you're right son," he tersely agreed. "Are you hurt anywhere else? What happened?"

"Just some bruises," Matt replied with a shrug. He looked at his wrist, studying it closely, unable to look his father in the eye. "I seen White Eagle and he attacked me."

Jesse frowned, that didn't sound like White Eagle. "Why would he do that?"

Matt's eyes shot up, glaring at his father. It hadn't occurred to him that his father might doubt his word. **Why shouldn't he doubt it? It is a lie. **Matt winced and told his conscience to shut up. "Cause he's a dirty injun, that's why," he nearly growled.

"Injured or not you better watch your tone boy."

"Yes sir," Matt mumbled. "I'm sorry. I don't know why he attacked me, guess cause he knows I don't like him."

Jesse's frown deepened. He knew that indians lived by a different set of rules, governed by different values, but he'd never heard of one attacking somebody due to simple dislike. Aside from that, in White Eagle's eyes Matt was a child and he knew the Shoshone valued children. No adult of the Shoshone would attack a child like this. Even when they had attacked white settlers, they always spared the children, often taking them along and adopting them into the tribe. He knew that Jacklyn and Matt saw White Eagle as another child, but Jesse was aware that according to his people that he was considered a man. No, something didn't add up. "I'll talk to him the next time he comes over. In the meantime let's get you home, fix your wrist and get you cleaned up."

"Talk to him?" Matt was shocked and not a little hurt. "You ain't gonna let him come back are you? What if he decides to hurt Cody?" If his father didn't care about him, maybe he would worry about the younger boy.

Jesse picked the boy up and climbed into the saddle, settling his son in front of him. Picking up the reins he turned the horse around and headed back up the trail. "You know I won't let him around if he hurt you for no reason son, but it's only fair to hear his side of the story. It's what I would do if you and Jim Cutler got into a fight." If Matt hadn't left anything out of his story then of course he would keep the Shoshone boy away from his family. However, he knew children didn't always tell the whole story when a fight took place and there were things about his son's tale that didn't make sense. No matter how others viewed the indians, he would do his best to treat them the same as he would had they been white and would try to teach his boys to do the same.

Matt didn't say anything. What could he say without sounding like he had something to hide? He would just have to hope that he was more convincing than White Eagle.

TBC

Hope y'all liked it. Please feed the muse with reviews.

A/N: I'm not Shoshone and mean no offense to those who are. I did my best to research the Shoshone language and beliefs, if I get anything wrong I humbly apologize.

qai denangande= not listening/not hearing

ba'i= anything

Haa= yes

deaipedi= child


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own High Mountain Rangers, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: AU; angst

Rating: FRT

A Man Called Hawkes

Chapter 5

As the sun peaked over the horizon Jesse was moving down the trail towards the cattle pasture, his sharp eyes tracking his young son's movements of the day before. It wasn't until he reached the pasture and began to move along the fence line, however, that he saw anything important. Kneeling in the dirt, he carefully examined the marks which to his experienced eyes told the story. Pushing himself to his feet, he retraced his steps with a heavy heart.

Jacklyn looked up from cooking breakfast. She frowned as she saw the look on her husband's face. "Jesse, what is it?"

"I decided to track Matt's movements from yesterday."

Jacklyn was confused. "Why would you do that?"

"I needed to see what I could find," Jesse replied.

"You don't believe him?" Jacklyn indignantly asked. She liked White Eagle herself but to doubt their child in favor of an indian boy was something she wouldn't stand for.

Jesse sighed. "I didn't know what to believe," he admitted. "White Eagle considers himself an adult and no man of the Shoshone would hurt a child."

"But he did hurt a child, our child," Jacklyn protested.

"No," Jesse shook his head, "he didn't."

She viciously swiped the fork through the eggs she was scrambling. "Matt wouldn't lie," she insisted, her voice tight with anger on her son's behalf.

"I didn't want that to be true Jacklyn, but the tracks don't lie."

"White Eagle's an indian, he could have come back and hidden the evidence of the attack, couldn't he?"

"He could have, but that would have left a break in Matt's tracks and there wasn't anything like that."

"Or you missed it," Jacklyn snapped. "Matt isn't lying about his wrist, how do you explain that?"

"I found where his horse threw him. Looks like it was spooked by something..."

"White Eagle," Jacklyn interrupted. "Don't you see Jesse? He must have spooked the horse and that's what caused Matt to fall. That's why you didn't find his tracks, they were probably hidden by the horse's prints and Matt's." She liked White Eagle, or she had, but forced to choose she would of course side with her child. She couldn't understand why Jesse wasn't.

Jesse shook his head. He understood why she was saying what she was. He didn't want to believe his son could lie either, especially about something so important. He had seen the tracks, though, and he couldn't deny what his eyes had shown him. "Jacklyn, sweetheart, there just wasn't any sign that White Eagle had been there. Besides, Matt never even mentioned the horse throwing him. If it happened like you suggested, then why did our son say White Eagle attacked him? Why didn't he tell us that he was thrown from his horse?"

Jacklyn sighed. "Why would he lie?"

Jesse shrugged. "I don't know, but I intend to find out." Stepping to the ladder which led into the loft, he softly called to his oldest.

Hearing his name, Matt climbed from bed to peak over the edge of the loft. "Yes Pa?"

"Come down here son."

"I'll be down in a minute Pa." Moving away from the opening, he struggled into his clothes. He'd have to ask his father to button them up, it was simply impossible for him right now. Two rungs down the ladder and his father's strong arms wrapped around him, lowering him the remaining distance to the floor. "Thank you," he mumbled, blushing a bit. He hated that he needed to be helped like a baby.

"You're welcome son," Jesse said. Turning the boy, he quickly buttoned him up before leading him to the table. "We need to talk about what happened yesterday Matthew."

Matt swallowed hard. It was never a good sign when his father called him Matthew. "Yes sir?"

"I followed your tracks this morning. Do you have something you want to tell me?"

He blinked rapidly, he wouldn't cry, he wasn't a baby. He knew by the firm tone his father used that he wouldn't stand for another lie. "I lied about White Eagle," he quietly admitted.

"Why?"

Matt jerked, staring up at his father, his eyes wide with surprise. "Why? He's an injun, he don't belong here."

"His people were here before us, if anybody belongs here it's him."

"Well we're here now so they have to go. Mr. Cutler says that injuns ain't no better than rabid wolves. He says they're a danger to decent folks and they should be shot just like ya would a diseased animal."

Jesse was shocked. He knew Matt didn't like White Eagle and that he was forming those opinions, at least partially, based on what Bill Cutler said. He hadn't known, however, that the man was so filled with hate. The worst he'd ever personally heard him say was that all indians should be placed on reservations and kept away from white people. "Mr. Cutler is wrong, I don't want you listening to him again."

"No he ain't," the boy stubbornly insisted.

"Isn't," Jacklyn absently corrected. "You say that White Eagle is a danger to us Matt, but it wasn't an indian who told a lie that could have cost another his life."

Matt stared at his mother. It was clear he was shocked to hear her defending an injun. He knew she didn't really like injuns either, nor was she comfortable with White Eagle coming to visit. "Pa wouldn't have killed him."

"No he wouldn't have," Jacklyn agreed. "How do you think others, like Mr. Cutler, would have reacted at the idea of an indian attacking a white boy?"

Matt paled, he hadn't thought of that. He didn't like White Eagle, nor any other injuns, but he didn't want him dead. "Nobody else knew."

"They would have."

"No they wouldn't, not if we didn't tell them."

Jacklyn sighed. "What would you have done when Jimmy asked you what happened to your wrist? You would have had to tell him the same lie or risk him mentioning your fall to us. He would have told his father and Bill Cutler would have eagerly led the search for White Eagle." It was true that she wasn't overly fond of indians, but that didn't mean she thought them deserving of death. They had as much right to live as her family did.

"I didn't want him dead," Matt whispered. He trembled, his body shaking as his mother's arms suddenly wrapped around him.

"Oh honey, we know you didn't." She shot Jesse an imploring look, couldn't he spare the boy his rightful punishment this time?

Jesse shook his head. He didn't enjoy whipping his children, but sometimes they needed to be taught a lesson and a hiding was the best way he knew of to drive that lesson home. "After breakfast you and I will be taking a trip out behind the barn."

"Yes sir," Matt mumbled miserably.

"That's after you explain to your little brother that you lied about his friend."

His head snapped up so quickly he nearly collided with his mother's chin. "No, please Pa can't you tell him?" He'd rather take a hundred whippings than to have to admit what he'd done to his brother.

"You didn't mind lying to him, making him cry for your pain and hate his friend," Jesse pointed out. "I think it's only fair that you be the one to tell him the truth."

Matt heaved a heavy sigh, his shoulders slumping in defeat. When his father spoke in that tone there would be no arguing or pleading for him to change his mind. "Yes sir."

Breakfast had been a quiet meal that ended too quickly for Matt's comfort. Standing up from the table, he helped his mother clear the table. He knew it wouldn't change anything, but he couldn't help the desire to delay the moment for as long as he could.

"Matthew, do you have something to tell your brother?" Jesse finally asked. He knew what his son was doing, just as he knew the boy was only increasing his own pain by delaying his task.

Cody looked between his father and brother, confusion written on his little face. What else was Matt going to tell him? "Did White...did he doing something else?" Cody asked into the silence. He had thought White Eagle was good, that he was his friend. Now he didn't even want to say his name.

Matt sighed, "No Cody." Taking a deep breath, he moved back to the table and sat down next to his younger brother. "Cody, I...it was just that he don't belong here..."

Jesse meaningfully cleared his throat.

Matt took another breath, deeper than the first. "I lied Cody, he didn't attack me."

For a moment nobody spoke. The sound of the chair tumbling to the floor as Cody jumped up startled them all. "You're a mean boy and I...I...I hate you!" Cody yelled before fleeing out the door.

Matt stared at the spot where only a moment before his brother had been sitting. What had he done? Cody would never forgive him for this. He bit back a small sob, his heart breaking with the realization that in trying to keep his brother he might have lost him forever.

"That went well," Jacklyn sighed. "I'm going to see to Cody." She shot a look between her husband and son, silently telling Jesse to fix this. Moving to the door, she left Jesse to take care of Matt.

"He's just angry son," Jesse quietly assured his oldest.

Matt shook his head, "He'll never forgive..."

Jacklyn rushed into the room, startling them both. "He's gone, I can't find him anywhere." Hurrying to her husband's side, she looked at him with tear filled eyes. "Find him Jess, find my baby," she begged.

"I will sweetheart," Jesse assured her. Giving her a quick hug, he headed outside to find his youngest.

"He couldn't go very far Ma, we'll find him," Matt said. Moving to follow his father, he was surprised when his mother's hand jerked him to a stop. "Ma?"

"You stay here Matt, let your father find Cody." She was terrified that something would happen to Cody, she couldn't handle having Matt out there too.

"I have to help find him Ma."

"You're only a child Matthew, it's not your job to find your brother."

Matt hugged his mother. He hated to see the tears in her eyes. Knowing that he had put them there only made it worse. "It's my fault he ran off, I have to help find him. Please Ma, let me help," he begged her to understand.

Jacklyn nodded, reluctantly releasing her hold on her firstborn. "Be careful son."

"I will," Matt promised. Running out of the house, he began the search for the younger boy.

Jesse had followed the tracks away from the house. A half a mile from the house he was forced to stop. He was surprised that Cody had made it so far in such a short time. A part of him was proud of his youngest. Even in his upset state, the nearly four year old boy had remembered the lessons White Eagle had taught him. He had done his best to hide his tracks and in fact Jesse had lost them a couple of times. Luckily the boy was still young and had only just begun to learn. Jesse sighed, he'd learned enough, he thought as he looked at the rocky ground. It would be nearly impossible to track him over such terrain, certainly it would be time consuming. As he searched he prayed that God would keep his son safe until he could find him.

Matt searched near the house first. The younger boy had barely been out of sight of the yard and house; he didn't think he would go far. By the time he had checked every possible place, Matt had to admit that his younger brother had gone further than he had expected. Not nearly as good as his father, Matt could track enough to follow the prints left by his father for only a short distance. Losing the trail, he stood uncertainly in the middle of the path. A few minutes later he moved on. Even if he couldn't follow any tracks, he could still search for his younger brother.

At first Cody hadn't bothered to hide his tracks. But he knew his father would come looking for him and he didn't want to go home yet. He wanted to find White Eagle. Maybe White Eagle could be his brother now. At least the indian boy had never lied to him. He wiped furious tears away. He was a big boy now, only babies cried.

"What is wrong dawi'?"

Cody whirled around and would have fallen if not for White Eagle's quickness. A strong hand steadied him, pulling him away from the cliff edge. Cody threw his arms around the older boy, no longer able to hold back the tears. "Will you be my brother White Eagle?" he asked after a few minutes.

White Eagle drew back in surprise, examining the boy's face as if he would find the answers to his questions written on the surface. He already saw the boy as a younger brother, but he knew the whites weren't so quick to call one not a brother by blood by that name. "I would be happy if I were your brother," White Eagle quietly replied before asking any questions. "Why you ask?"

"You don't lie to me, you're not bad."

"Matt lie?" White Eagle asked. He was beginning to get an idea of what had happened. Truthfully it worried him. Cody wasn't a child easily upset and he obviously loved his older brother. Whatever had happened between them had to be very serious if the child no longer wanted him as a brother.

"He said you hurt him but you didn't. I was mad at you," Cody admitted. "I thought you hurt my brother, but he lied. He fell and said you hit him."

White Eagle made a noncommittal sound in the back of his throat. "Why?"

Cody looked up at him. "He was bad." He didn't understand why White Eagle wanted to know Matt's reason. Didn't he know that he could have been sent away from Cody if Matt hadn't said he lied?

"Haa," White Eagle agreed. "He always bad?"

Cody shook his head.

"He must have reason," White Eagle reasonably stated.

"I don't know," Cody shrugged.

White Eagle sat down, pulling the small boy down beside him. "What you think?"

"He hates you?"

"Haa, why?"

Cody struggled to think of a reason, but the only one he could come up with was one that didn't make sense to him. "Cause you're an indian."

"He tells himself this," White Eagle agreed. "It is not reason."

"It isn't? Do you know?"

"He is frightened."

Cody stared at his friend. "But you ain't hurt him."

"Not me...you frighten him."

"Me?" Cody blinked. He was more confused now than he'd been before. "That don't make sense White Eagle."

"He is frightened to lose you."

Cody scrunched his face up. "So he lied to me?" This was more than his young mind could understand.

"He is frightened you love me more. If he can make me go away then you will love him more."

"That's stupid," Cody declared.

"Not to him."

"Well I hate him."

"No," White Eagle contradicted, "you love him."

"No I don't."

"Then why upset?"

"Cause he lied to me," Cody replied as if it was the most sensible thing in the world.

"If you hate him, his lies don't matter. It angers you because you care," White Eagle explained.

"Ain't you mad at him?"

"No. It is foolish to be angry at him for protecting himself." White Eagle said nothing more. He sat in silence, allowing the young boy to think over his words for himself. He knew the boy wouldn't understand everything, but he would understand enough.

"I should forgive him?" Cody asked in a small voice.

White Eagle hid a smile. He was proud that the boy had come to realize this without any further need of words. "Haa," he agreed.

"Will you still be my brother?"

"I won't anger if you change your mind," White Eagle assured the young boy.

Cody's eyes widened and he quickly jumped to his feet, wrapping his arms around White Eagle's neck, hugging him tightly. "I want you to be my brother," he declared.

"I won't take brother's place."

"No," Cody agreed. "Matt is still my brother, but I want you too."

White Eagle smiled. "You have always been my dawi', my younger brother."

"That's what dawi' means?" Cody was surprised. White Eagle had been calling him that for a long time. He thought it was his name in Shoshone. "What word means older brother?"

"Papi."

Cody grinned. "Then you're my papi," he quickly decided.

"Haa," White Eagle agreed, returning the boy's smile. "Ready to go home dawi'?"

"Haa papi," Cody grinned. The grin slid from his face as he turned back to the trail.

Seeing this, White Eagle was on his feet facing the trail and stepping in front of Cody in one swift move. "You heard?"

Matt nodded.

"You mad?" He wouldn't hurt this child, but he wouldn't allow him to hurt his dawi' either.

Matt shook his head. "I'm sorry for lying."

"I forgive," White Eagle said.

Cody peaked out from behind White Eagle. "I forgive you Matt."

Matt felt relief course through him. Though he had listened to their conversation, he hadn't been sure his little brother would forgive him. Hearing the words made it real. "Can I have a hug?"

Cody ran to his older brother, wrapping his arms around him.

Matt looked at White Eagle. "You think you could teach me how to track? Just in case Cody ever runs off again," he added in a teasing tone.

"Haa," White Eagle nodded.

Matt smiled. "You coming to the house?"

"Haa."

"Come on then." Matt took Cody's hand in his and turned towards home.

"Come on papi," Cody called, holding out his other hand to White Eagle.

Matt waited for the older boy to take Cody's hand before beginning the hike home. He still wasn't sure about being friends with an injun, but after listening to him talking to Cody he realized the boy wasn't so bad. White Eagle could have encouraged Cody to hate him. It was what he would have done if the situation had been reversed and it shamed him to admit it, if only to himself. Maybe they would never be best friends, but he owed the boy for his brother's forgiveness, he could at least give him a chance.

TBC

Hope y'all liked this chapter. Please feed the muse with reviews.

Dawi' = younger brother

papi= older brother


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own High Mountain Rangers, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: AU; Angst; Violence, Disturbing imagery

Italics: the characters are speaking Shoshone. I won't attempt to mangle the Shoshone language in attempting to depict an entire conversation, hence the use of italics to symbolize the speaking of Shoshone.

Rating: FRT

A Man Called Hawkes

Chapter 6

"Please Pa, can't I come too?" Cody asked, looking up at his father with pleading blue eyes. "I'll be good, I promise."

Jesse smiled softly. "I know you would son, but you're not old enough yet. Maybe next year."

"It's not fair," Cody complained. "I'm never old enough."

Jesse choked back a laugh. "That's what your brother used to think. Your day will come too son, but for now I need you to stay home and take care of your mother."

"How come I'm old enough to take care of Ma but not to go to town?"

Jacklyn bit her lip, her shoulders shaking as she worked to contain her laughter. Her youngest was so logical, easily picking out the holes in their explanations. It was as exasperating as it was amusing.

"Well son, that's a good question but I don't have time to explain it right now." Jesse ruffled his son's hair, kissed his wife and shouldered his pack. "Why don't you ask your mother," he suggested as he slipped out the door where his oldest waited for him.

"Jesse Hawkes you...oh that man!" Jacklyn mumbled. Her children weren't the only ones who could be aggravating.

"Ma?"

"Yes Cody?" She was going to murder her husband when he came home.

"How come I'm old enough to take care of you but not go to town?"

Jacklyn sighed. Jesse was a dead man. "Your father didn't mean take care of me exactly. He meant you should keep me company and help me with chores. You're old enough to do that, aren't you?"

"But I'm old enough to ride to town too," he nearly whined.

"Cody Hawkes what is this? A big boy of seven whining like a baby," she tsked at him.

"I'm not whining, not exactly."

"Of course not," she smiled. "Why don't you go draw me a bucket of water and then you can go play for a while."

"Yes ma'am." Cody ran outside eager to prove he was a big boy. His mother's call to slow down went unheeded.

White Eagle left the others near the lake, gathering plants and fishing. He was heading up to the Hawkes cabin today, but not alone this time. His own father and uncle wished to meet the young white child he had taken to his heart. His dawi was growing into a fine young warrior. He spoke the Shoshone lanugage as well as one born to the tribe and had taught White Eagle to speak English as well as any white man. The boy instinctively understood the idea of a fair trade. Aside from language, White Eagle had taught the boy the ways of Mother Earth. As with language, his dawi quickly learned how to live with the land and how to find his way in the mountains of his home. He hoped to teach him the use of the bow this summer. They would begin with the making of the bow and the arrows. If Cody took to this as quickly as he had the other things he'd been taught, White Eagle was sure he would be hunting rabbits with his dawi by the end of the summer.

An eagle called overhead, drawing his attention to the sky. The sight of the majestic bird sent a chill down his back. _"Father, did you feel it?"_

_"Yes my son, a spirit will soon flee Mother Earth." _

_"Dawi,"_ the word escaped on a whispered breath. There was nothing to tell him the eagle was connected to his dawi, but somehow he knew that it was. A sense of urgency gripped him, moving him to pick up his pace. They would not be able to reach the cabin until evening, even at the increased speed. He feared that whatever was to happen would come to pass before they could arrive.

_"We will arrive in the time we are meant to my son."_

White Eagle nodded. He appreciated the comfort his father offered, though it did little to ease the sudden pain in his heart.

The morning had passed peacefully. After bringing in the water, Cody had ran off to play, leaving Jacklyn to her chores. Though she hadn't seen her son until lunch time, she hadn't worried overly much. It was something she still struggled with, but she was glad to say she was getting better. By lunch time Cody's mood had been greatly improved as he chattered away, telling her of all he had seen that morning. As soon as the dishes from lunch were cleaned, Cody had been off again. That had been nearly three hours ago. The pony White Eagle had given Cody whinnied, drawing her attention to the window. Was that a shadow? Uncertainly she opened the door, her hand already drawing out the small pistol she kept in her pocket.

"Hello darlin."

Jacklyn jerked away, bringing her gun up in a fluid motion. She barely hid a shudder as she took in the man before her. He was a rough looking character, wild beard and hair matched the crazed look in his dark eyes. "What do you want?" she firmly demanded. She was surprised and proud to find that her voice didn't shake.

"Now that ain't hardly polite. Polite folks introduce themselves, leastways that's what Ma always blathered on about until Pa shut her up." He spit a stream of tobacco juice into the dirt. "My name's Tom Cousins, what's your's?"

She couldn't repress the shiver. She had a feeling his father had done more than simply telling his mother to be quiet. "Mrs. Hawkes," she replied, emphasizing her title. "I'll ask again Mr. Cousins, what do you want?" She pulled the hammer back, her finger resting on the trigger.

"Put the gun down lady, less'n you want to see your son's brains on the ground."

Jacklyn jerked, turning her head to the side. Another man, as rough looking as the first, held her youngest in his arms, a gun pressed against his head. "Cody!" The gun jerked from her hands and strong arms wrapped around her.

"She's a feisty one Bern," Tom chortled as he dragged the woman into the cabin.

"I like 'em feisty," Bernie grinned. Following his brother into the cabin, he tossed the boy to the side as he advanced on the woman.

"Leave my Ma alone!" Cody launched himself at the man's back, wrapping his small arms around the thick neck.

"You little brat! Think you're tough do ya? Let's see how tough ya are," he grinned.

"No! Leave him alone!" Jacklyn cried out, struggling against her captor.

"You got him under control little brother?" Tom asked.

"I got him, you just keep that woman under control while I teach this boy a lesson."

Cody felt himself flying through the air again. Before he could recover from the rough landing, the man jerked him to his feet. The first punch caught him by surprise. Crying out in pain, he instinctively brought his hands up in an effort to protect himself. He quickly realized it was useless. The man was too big and he was too small to put up a good fight. He was helpless to defend himself as the large fist meted out punishment. Dropping to the floor, he thought it was over.

Bernie Cousins was angrier than he'd ever been. He couldn't abide anything around his neck. It reminded him too much of the hangman's noose. A fate he knew awaited him if he and his brother were ever caught. With each strike of his fist against flesh, his anger grew. Dropping the boy to the floor, he uncoiled the whip hanging from his belt.

The first strike of the whip stole his breath. As the whipping continued, he had no breath for tears or screams. He could only lay on the floor, gasping for air while his back burned with fire.

"Cody! Stop! Please, stop," Jacklyn begged. It hurt to see her baby beaten while she was helpless to stop it. Silently she prayed for help, not for herself but for her son. Help didn't come and the beating continued. She wasn't aware of the hands on her body, touching her in places that only Jesse had ever seen.

"Leave him be Bern," Tom called. "Come on over here and join the fun, he ain't gonna bother us again."

Bernie looked down at the boy, his back ripped open from the whip, face covered in bruises. "Guess you're right Tom." Dropping the whip, he moved to the woman, an evil grin on his face. "Let's see what you're hiding under here darlin." Grabbing a fistful of cloth, he jerked hard. A satisfying ripping sound told him he had been successful and in the next moment the dress front was gone, exposing the woman to the lustful view of the brothers.

He heard his mother screaming, but he couldn't help her. "'m sorry Ma, sorry," he sobbed. Pa shouldn't have left him to take care of his mother. He wasn't big enough and now she was being hurt. He should have grabbed a knife or a gun. He could have stopped the men with a weapon, so he told himself. He wished he could close his ears as easily as his eyes. Cody heard Ma crying now as the men grunted. He didn't understand the words they were saying to his mother, but he was sure they weren't nice words. They shouldn't say those things about his Ma. Why were they hurting his Ma? Why had they hurt him? He didn't understand what was happening. He'd never experienced such violence in his young life, nor had he known anybody who had. Had he been bad? Was that why these men were hurting him and his mother? He knew his mother hadn't been bad. She was a good Ma. She loved him and his brother. She took good care of them and their father. It must have been cause he hadn't wanted to stay home. He had been bad and now God was punishing his Ma.

"The feisty one's are always fun, ain't they Tom?" Bernie grinned as he pulled his clothes back into place.

"Sure are little brother, they surely are," Tom agreed. Grabbing the woman by the hair, he dragged her over to the boy. "Open your eyes boy," he growled. Jerking the woman to her knees, he waited for the brat to open his eyes.

Hesitantly Cody did as he was told. He was afraid to obey but more afraid not to. "Ma," he whispered. She looked at him with cold eyes. He shivered, he knew she blamed him for what had happened to her. He bit back a whimper.

"Say good-bye to your Ma," Tom grinned. Drawing his hunting knife across her throat, he laughed as her blood sprayed the boy, bringing a horrified cry from his throat. Dropping the body, he reached down for the boy, bringing him to his feet. Swiping a finger through the blood, he forced it into the boy's mouth. "That's your Ma's blood, taste good don't she?" He laughed again as the boy brought up everything in his stomach. Letting him go, he coldly watched as the boy dropped to the floor.

Cody shook, whether from fear or grief he couldn't say. Lying on the floor in a puddle of blood and vomit, he couldn't bring himself to care. He was barely aware of the man standing over him, talking. His eyes were drawn to his mother's body and all he could hear were her cries as those men hurt her.

"Your turn boy," Tom said. Shifting his hold on the knife, he prepared to plunge it into the boy's back. A sharp pain blossomed in his chest. Looking down, he was surprised to see an arrow protruding from his body. "Wha..." He would never know the answer to his question. His knees buckled, dropping him to the floor to stare with lifeless eyes at the body of his younger brother, a matching arrow protruding from his neck.

"Dawi!" White Eagle called out. Rushing to the boy's side, he dropped to his knees and laid his hand on the boy's back. He was relieved to find that there was still breath in his dawi. Glancing to the side, he saw the body of Jacklyn Hawkes. It was clear there was no hope for her.

_"Care for your dawi my son, we will take care of the woman and these soulless ones."_

_"Thank you father," _White Eagle spoke quietly to not disturb the living or the dead. Scooping Cody into his arms, he carried him outside to tend to his wounds. His dawi didn't need to stay inside with the dead. If he remained within, he might become confused, believing himself to be dead as well. White Eagle couldn't take the thought of losing his dawi. The eagle could carry the mother's spirit to the other side, but his dawi would remain on Mother Earth for many years. It was not his time, this White Eagle was sure of. As he looked into the dead eyes of the boy in his arms, he steeled himself for the task ahead. If he must remain with Cody's family through the winter, through many winters, he would. He would do whatever it took to help his dawi to recover from the hurt inflicted on him by the soulless ones.

TBC

Sorry it took so long to update. Please feed the muse with reviews.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own High Mountain Rangers, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: AU; Angst; tissue warning

Rating: FRT

A/N: Italics signifies characters speaking Shoshone

A Man Called Hawkes

Chapter 7

White Eagle lifted the spoon to silent lips. His worry for Cody was great. It had been four days since the attack and still the young boy hadn't spoken; still the deep blue eyes looked upon the world as if the soul behind them had fled. At least the child was taking nourishment, though he must feed his dawi as if he were an infant. He hoped Cody's father would return soon, maybe then the boy would come to life.

His father and uncle had removed the soulless ones from the small cabin, dumping their bodies in a small gully nearby. Uncertain of the customs of the white men, Jacklyn had been, with great respect, moved to lie on her bed. They had cleaned her body with great gentleness and now she lay in the room beyond, covered and waiting for her husband's return.

"_My son, two men approach, one young and one older." _

White Eagle stood. _"Where are they?" _

"They are close. Their horses carry many packages, perhaps it is the father and brother of your dawi."

" Hai," White Eagle nodded. He hoped his father was right. He stepped towards the door but a hand tugging on his breeches halted him. Turning around he gave Cody a small smile as hope blossomed in his chest. "Remain here dawi, I will return soon. I must see who approaches your home."

Cody looked away, reluctantly releasing White Eagle. He tried to hide the fear he felt as his older friend once more moved towards the door. He nodded when his papi turned to him again, promising that he would come back. Curling up on the pallet White Eagle had made for him, he could only wait and hope that the spirits would protect his friend.

Matt followed his father up the path. His thoughts wandered to the tin whistle nestled in one of the packs. He had felt bad that Cody wasn't allowed to come with them to town this year. He knew that it was his mother's fears that kept Cody close to home, but it wasn't really fair to his brother. Matt sometimes wondered why his father had moved them into the mountains, rather than living in a town. Wouldn't being in town help calm his mother's fears? It had been in town though that his mother had lost several babies and it had been in town that his father had nearly died. Considering these things, Matt began to understand his father's reasons for moving them into the mountains. Still, his little brother was growing up isolated and kept close to home by a fearful mother. He wasn't sure that was good for him. How could he learn to be a man if he wasn't allowed more freedom from their mother's protectiveness?

He was pulled from his thoughts by the sudden stop of his father. Looking up, he smiled in greeting. He was still amazed whenever he considered the difference in his feelings in only a few short years. "White Eagle," he greeted the older boy.

White Eagle's father followed him a little ways down the trail, watching until he was sure it was the boy's family who approached. Assured that these men meant no harm, he returned to the cabin. He would watch over the young one until his son and the boy's family arrived.

Jesse narrowed his eyes. Something was off with the young man in front of him. "Were you on your way to the cabin?" he asked. Fear shot through him. Though White Eagle hid it well, he could see the discomfort in the boy's eyes. "Something's wrong?" It was as much a statement as a question.

"Hai," White Eagle confirmed.

Feeling as if he'd been dropped in an icy wasteland, Matt looked between the two of them. He wanted to ask, but for some reason he couldn't get his mouth to work.

Jesse didn't need to hear any more, without a word he shouldered his way past White Eagle. Moving at a rapid pace, he headed for his home, his heart thudding in fear at what he would find.

"Mr. Hawkes, wait," White Eagle called. Quickly catching up to the older man, he laid his hand on his arm, bringing him to a halt. "You cannot hurry into the cabin."

"Let go of me," Jesse growled. How dare this boy tell him what to do. How dare he keep him from his family.

"You must listen first," White Eagle insisted. He understood the older man's need to see his family, but for Cody's sake he must be told what awaited him. His dawi, they had quickly discovered, would cower in fear at any quick movement. For a moment Jesse struggled against his hold and just when he thought he would have to become more violent in his insistence the man ceased his struggles.

Matt watched, not without some confusion, as White Eagle held his father back from the cabin. It was clear that something very bad had happened while they were gone; he was afraid to discover what that was. He considered moving past them, but his fear held him in place.

"Go on," Jesse said, his tone curt and impatient.

White Eagle took a breath, preparing himself. "My father and uncle wished to meet the family I spend so much time with. They very much wanted to meet Cody, my dawi."

Jesse bit back a growl of impatience.

"We began the walk to your cabin a few days ago. We found your family being attacked by two soulless ones disguised as men. One was preparing to kill your son, I was able to stop him with an arrow, the other was stopped by an arrow from my father's bow."

"Cody? Jacklyn?" Jesse asked in a horrified whisper.

"Your son lives, but does not speak. We were too late to save your woman," White Eagle quietly replied. Twin cries of anguish sounded in the quiet of the forest.

Jesse tore loose from White Eagle's hold. Forgetting about his oldest for the moment, he hurried up the trail to the cabin. It couldn't be true, please God don't let it be true, he prayed as he ran. He knew it was futile. White Eagle wouldn't lie about something like this. His wife was dead, attacked in her own home and his son.... What did he mean when he said his son didn't speak? What had happened to his family?

Rushing into the cabin, he was vaguely aware of the two men who squatted near the fireplace. Somewhere in the back of his mind he realized these must be White Eagle's father and uncle. He spared them no attention, his eyes were focused on the small boy curled up on a pallet in the corner. He fell to his knees, blue eyes filled with rage as he took in the condition of his young son. He found himself wishing that the animals who had done this were still alive; he would have liked the pleasure of killing them himself...slowly. "Cody...son," he whispered as he hesitantly reached for the boy. He felt his heart breaking a little more when Cody flinched from his touch. Drawing his hand back, he rocked back onto his heels.

Matt followed his father into the cabin. He stared at his barely recognizable brother for a full minute. Slowly he stumbled his way to his father's side, dropping to the floor beside him. "Is he going to be okay Pa?" he whispered.

Jesse wrapped his arm around Matt's shoulders, pulling him close. Like most men, he wasn't very demonstrative with his sons, usually he was uncomfortable giving hugs to the boys. Yet now it seemed as if it were the easiest thing in the world to offer his son the comfort he so badly needed. "Of course he is son," he assured his oldest with a confidence he didn't feel. "Can you stay with him?"

Matt turned frightened, shocked eyes on his father. "Where are you going?" He winced at the slight panic he could hear in his own voice. He couldn't help it, in this moment he didn't feel like a boy approaching manhood. No, he wasn't fourteen, he was a frightened toddler in need of his father's reassuring presence.

Jesse squeezed his shoulder. "I need to talk to White Eagle and his family. I need to know what happened, more than we've already been told," he added when he saw Matt about to protest.

Matt nodded, "I'll take care of Cody."

"I know you will son." One last squeeze to the thin shoulder and he stood. He glanced around the room as he moved towards the fireplace, seeing evidence of the attack. White Eagle had obviously tried to clean the place up and had done a good job, still there was evidence of the attack if you knew what to look for. Mostly in the lack of items that had previously adorned the room, things that he supposed were broken during the attack. He was thankful there were no blood stains, or at least none that he was able to spot.

White Eagle gave the older man a grim smile as he approached. "Mr. Hawkes, this is my father, Grey Wolf and my uncle Running Elk."

Jesse nodded a greeting. "What can you tell me about what happened?"

"We can only guess," White Eagle replied.

Jesse barked a mirthless laugh. "White Eagle I have great respect for the Shoshone and you in particular. I'd be willing to bet that your guess would be as good as what I would hear from an eye witness."

White Eagle nodded, acknowledging the praise. "There were two soulless ones, white devils, who attacked your family. Your woman and son were beaten with fists." He paused, giving the man a moment to deal with the grief and rage his words were causing. He knew his next words would only cause his dawi's father more pain. "Cody was whipped, his back is torn open from the attack but it is healing."

Jesse swallowed hard. White Eagle was right when he called these men white devils, soulless ones. No man who possessed a soul could hurt a child so brutally. It hurt more than he could say to hear what his son had suffered. Jesse wasn't sure he could stand to hear what his wife had gone through, but he had to know. "Jacklyn?"

"She too was beaten with fists," White Eagle replied. Hesitant to inform the man of the rest, he didn't realize he was repeating himself. A hand fell on his shoulder, offering silent support. Though he couldn't see who was behind him, he knew it was his father's hand. "She was violated before her throat was cut." There was no easy way to say the words, quick and simple was best.

Jesse bit back the scream that threatened to erupt. His beautiful Jacklyn, what she must have suffered in his absence. Why hadn't he taken her to town? He knew the answer of course. Somebody had to remain at the cabin, caring for the livestock. "Where is she?" he finally managed to ask.

The man's reaction relieved Grey Wolf. Though his son had grown close to this family, he had feared they would be blamed for the attack. He could breathe easier now that the burden of this worry had been lifted.

"We were unsure of the customs," White Eagle explained. "She was treated with great respect as she was cleansed and dressed," he added. He wanted Jesse to understand that they had only done what was necessary, but that they had always given her body the respect it should be given.

"Thank you for that son," Jesse said, acknowledging the explanation. He was grateful they had been here to save his son and see to the things he couldn't.

"She lays on your bed."

Jesse turned towards the bedroom. Truthfully he was surprised to hear this. He had expected White Eagle to tell him that his wife had been laid to rest according to Shoshone traditions. Without another word he moved to the bedroom. "Oh Jacklyn," he whispered. Stumbling to the bed, he sank onto the mattress, drawing his wife into his arms. "My poor darling, I'm so sorry I wasn't here to spare you." Gently he lowered her back to the mattress to lay among the sweet smelling herbs White Eagle had surrounded her with. He brushed a strand of hair away from her face. "How am I supposed to go on without you sweetheart? How do I live without your gentleness? We were supposed to grow old together, watching over our boys and their children." He wasn't aware of the tears streaking his face as that part of his heart that Jacklyn owned filled with an icy coldness. He didn't know how long he sat there, pouring out his pain to his lost love. It was only when White Eagle entered the room to light the lamp that he looked up.

"There is food, if you wish to eat."

"Thank you, for everything you've done."

White Eagle shrugged. "Cody is my dawi, his family is mine."

Jesse nodded. "I'll be out soon." Turning back to Jacklyn, he leaned down, laying a soft kiss on her cold cheek. "Goodbye my love," he whispered. There was a spot behind the cabin covered with wildflowers. Tomorrow they would lay her to rest there. It would give her peace to spend eternity watching over her boys. He hadn't been able to protect her in life, a peaceful eternal rest was all he could offer her now. It would have to be enough.

TBC

A/N: I assume that White Eagle and/or his father would know of herbs which could be used to preserve a body for a few days until it could be buried, hence the use of sweet smelling herbs.

Hope y'all liked it. Please feed the muse with reviews.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own High Mountain Rangers, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, AU

Italics= Shoshone language

Rating: FRT

A Man Called Hawkes

Chapter 8

_"You will remain here my son?" Grey Wolf asked._

_"Haa," White Eagle replied. _

_Grey Wolf met his son's eyes, his own shining with pride. He knew his son would take good care of the boy he had adopted as his dawi. "You will be careful?" Grey Wolf couldn't help worrying for his eldest child, man though he was. Leaving him here to live amongst the whites, knowing the hostility he would face, was the most difficult thing he had ever done. Yet, taking him from the child who needed him would be more difficult still._

_White Eagle nodded. "I will see you next summer." His words both a promise and a reassurance that he would be careful of those who would greet his presence with hostility and violence. Clasping his father's arm in a warrior's greeting, he said his goodbyes. _

"Why aren't you going with them?" Matt asked. He had watched them talking, though he only understood a word here and there. He never had taken to the Shoshone language like Cody had. When he had seen the two older men walking away he had been surprised. Moving away from the porch, he had come to stand next to the slightly older boy.

White Eagle turned his head, giving the blond a short glance. "Dawi needs me."

Matt bristled. "I can take care of him."

White Eagle sighed. Always with this one he must be careful of his feelings. It was strange that it would be the older, less coddled boy who would be most prone to hurt feelings. No, that wasn't right and White Eagle knew it. It wasn't hurt feelings, it was wounded pride and fear that was at the root of these outbursts. "It has been two moons since the attack and he yet clings to me. Would you have me leave him?"

Matt knew it was true and it hurt. "It should be me and Pa that he clings to."

"He needs you too Matt. You are his brother. I wouldn't change that if I could," White Eagle assured the boy.

"But he calls you his brother too, his papi," Matt mumbled.

White Eagle frowned. It was clear from the boy's tone that he resented this. He had thought they were past such resentment. "He does and I am, but he does not cling to me because his feelings for me are stronger."

Matt looked up from the ground, staring at the older boy. He wasn't sure he believed him, but he was curious. "Then why?"

"Because it was I and my family who saved him from the white devils. If you and your father had come home in time to save him it would be you he clings to."

"We should've taken them with us to town." Matt insisted, looking away from the older boy.

White Eagle shook his head. This child was so filled with anger and resentment that it would eat him alive if he didn't rid himself of it. "You have left them behind before?"

Matt nodded, "Every year."

"Why?"

"To look after the livestock and Ma didn't really like traveling in the heat. We should've taken them this time. Cody wanted to go, but Pa told him he wasn't old enough."

"There have been problems before?"

Matt shook his head, "No, but we still should've taken them." He looked up to see White Eagle staring at him. "What?" he snapped.

"What signs did you miss?"

"Signs? What are you talking about?"

"You say there were no problems but you insist your mother and Cody should not have been left alone. There must have been signs of trouble that you see now were missed," White Eagle patiently explained.

Matt thought over the Shoshone's words for a time. Finally he sighed, "No, there weren't any signs," he admitted. "But if we had..."

"Enough," White Eagle growled. "You cannot live in the past, you must live in the now. The past cannot be changed, you can only move forward."

Matt was startled by the vehemence in White Eagle's voice. In all of the years he had known him, White Eagle had always been calm and patient. Even when he had accused the older boy of hurting him, the indian had not raised his voice. The difference got his attention. "How do I do that?"

White Eagle sighed. "You must discover that for yourself. It is different for each man."

Matt looked towards the barn, his face screwed up in thought. "Maybe if he could it'd be easier."

White Eagle followed his gaze, together they watched as Cody sat in the loft, silently watching for something. Once physically recovered his dawi had taken to spending every moment of wakefulness outside. Only with the insistence of his brother would he come inside the small cabin. White Eagle suspected the little one was attacked by memories of that day each time he entered the cabin. It would explain why he remained outside as much as possible.

It would have been less worrying if Cody spent his time playing, but that was not the case. When he wasn't clinging to White Eagle, he was in the barn loft, watching with a stillness that would rival any of The People. Grey Wolf had suggested he was watching for signs of danger; Running Elk had thought he was perhaps looking for the mother he had lost. White Eagle didn't know which was true, maybe both, and not knowing left him feeling more frustrated than he could ever remember. Something had to be done for his dawi. He had lost one brother because of the white man, he would not lose another.

"He at it again?"

Matt jerked, surprised to hear his father's voice. Turning around, he took in his father's appearance. For the first time in two months his hair had been combed, his beard trimmed and he had put on clean clothes. "Um...yes sir," Matt replied. He hadn't even known his father was aware of what any of them were doing. While Cody hid outside as much as possible, their father hid inside the room he'd shared with their mother, coming out only to use the privy or eat the ocassional meal.

Laying a callused hand on the boy's thin shoulder, Jesse gently squeezed. "I haven't made this any easier for you, have I son?"

Matt shrugged, "It's okay. You've been grieving."

"So have you," Jesse quietly pointed out. "I shouldn't have shut you out, that wasn't fair to you," he glanced towards the barn, "or your brother."

"I wanted to help him but he wouldn't let me," Matt confessed. "He turned to White Eagle and I couldn't come to you," he nearly choked on the words.

Jesse sighed, his heart breaking at the quietly spoken admission. "White Eagle could you keep an eye on Cody?"

The young indian quietly agreed, his eyes never leaving the loft where his dawi sat.

Matt looked between the two of them, confusion clearly written on his face. "Pa?"

"Walk with me son." Turning away, Jesse led the way around the back of the cabin and to the spot where his beautiful Jacklyn lay in her eternal rest. He said nothing, waiting patiently for his oldest to join him. He heard him moving slowly towards him, his steps hesitant. Jesse wondered if this was the first time Matt had visited his mother's resting place. Finally Matt stood next to him, stiff and uncertain, almost as if he were afraid of what his father would say to him. Wanting to reassure him, Jesse draped an arm over his son's shoulders, pulling him near. Yet he said nothing, merely waited for his son to speak. Just as he was about to give up, the silence was broken.

"I miss her, miss my family," Matt said in a voice thick with emotion.

"I know son, but your brother and I are still here," Jesse reminded him.

Matt shook his head. "You haven't been and I don't know if Cody will ever get better. He don't hardly talk, except to White Eagle and that's usually in Shoshone. It's..." he trailed off, unsure of how to describe what he was sensing from his brother.

"It's what son," Jesse quietly encouraged him to speak his mind. "Matt?" He was growing concerned by the continued silence. What was Matt afraid to tell him?

"Sometimes I think he's trying to pretend he isn't white," Matt finally admitted. He shrugged, uncertain if he should even be saying this. What if his father decided to send White Eagle away? As angry as he had been earlier, Matt knew that his little brother needed the indian boy. He didn't think he'd ever truly understand why Cody needed the Shoshone, but if White Eagle's presence helped his brother then he would do whatever he had to in order to ensure he stayed. "White Eagle says it's because it was him and his family that rescued him. He said if it'd been us that got here first then Cody would be clinging to me and you."

Jesse nodded, "That makes sense. But what's this about him pretending he isn't white?" He had nothing against the Shoshone and was more grateful to White Eagle than he could ever say. Had he and his family not arrived when they had he would have buried Cody next to his mother. Jesse bit back a sob at the thought of how much more they could have lost that awful day.

"I ain't sure," Matt admitted. "Just that he talks in Shoshone more than English. Do you think he doesn't want to be white because it was white men that hurt him and...and Ma?"

Jesse thought the question over carefully. "I doubt he doesn't want to be white son..."

"Then why doesn't he hardly speak English anymore?" Matt demanded, his anger getting the better of him. Almost immediately his eyes dropped, his entire being flooded with shame. "I'm sorry Pa."

"You don't owe me an apology son, not this time. You've every right in the world to be angry."

The toe of one boot scuffed at the dirt, green eyes never raising to see the pain of regret in his father's eyes. "Shouldn't be angry at you."

"Why not? I hid myself away, practically burying myself right along with your mother. Left you to deal with your own grief and that of your brother as best you could."

Matt sighed. He didn't know what to say. How could he explain that he didn't even know how to grieve? He wasn't sure he could, not a tear had been shed by him since the day they put Ma in the ground. "Why do you think Cody barely speaks English?"

Jesse smiled grimly. He knew what Matt was trying to do, well he'd let him for now. "I think that some things, some emotions are easier to express in Shoshone. The indians don't always look at things the way we do, maybe your brother just finds it easier to deal with his grief as his Shoshone friends would." Pausing, he glanced towards the front of the cabin. "And maybe he heard such ugly things that day, harsh words in English, that speaking Shoshone helps him forget the horror of that day."

"I didn't think about it like that. Guess maybe it doesn't seem like such a bad thing when ya think of it that way." The small smile that had begun to form was gone so fast a man could be forgiven for wondering if it had ever been. "I think you should talk to him. Maybe it ain't so bad, him speaking Shoshone, but he'll listen if you tell him to talk English too. Ma wouldn't want him to forget how to talk proper and all."

His tone was so serious Jesse didn't dare smile at the irony of the statement. "I will son, I will," he promised. "Right now, though, I want to talk about you."

"What about me?" Matt looked up, clearly startled.

"Matt...son, it's all right to cry. You need to grieve."

"I know."

"Do you?"

Matt nodded, "Just cause I don't cry all the time doesn't mean I can't."

Jesse raised an eyebrow at that. The defensive tone made it all too obivious that the statement wasn't entirely truthful. "Have you cried since the funeral?" he quietly asked.

"Ain't none of your business," Matt snapped.

As the boy turned to stomp away Jesse grabbed his arm, pulling him up short. "I'm your father and I won't have you speaking to me in that tone."

"I'm sorry Pa, I didn't mean it," Matt meekly responded.

"You've got to let the grief and anger out Matt before it eats you alive," Jesse warned.

"It scares me," Matt softly admitted.

"Tell me son, tell me what scares you," Jesse encouraged his eldest son.

Matt frowned, looking away from his father, unable to meet that penetrating gaze.

"Matt?"

"I wish White Eagle and his folks hadn't killed those men," Matt snarled.

Jesse blinked, taken aback by the venom in his son's voice. He had known the boy was angry, how could he not be, but he'd had no idea it ran so deep. Had his absence from day to day life allowed the hatred Matt felt to fester, to grow deeper than it would have if Jesse had been the father he should have been? Swallowing his own guilt he bit back the apology he'd been about to utter. The apology would come, but first this fury needed to be dealt with. "Why?"

"Why?" Matt yelled. "After what they did to Ma and Cody do you really need to ask?" Matt was furious, had been since the day they buried his mother; now that fury had a target. Almost without his knowledge Matt's hand formed a fist, striking out to catch his father on the chin, knocking him to the ground. With a wild howl of grief and rage he fell upon his father, pummeling the man without mercy. "I hate them! Would kill them! Why did they...why did we...I want my family back...miss Ma..." Matt screamed, each word puncuated by fists hitting the flesh of his father's body.

Jesse resisted the urge to fight back, offering only enough resistance to prevent any serious injury being inflicted. Matt might still be a child, but of an equal height to Jesse and strong from years of hard work, he could easily cause serious damage. Suddenly, as if a string had been cut, Matt collapsed onto his father, sobs welling up from deep within his soul. Jesse slowly sat up, arms wrapped tightly around his son. Silently he rocked the boy. Jesse grieved with his son; grieved for the loss of Jacklyn; grieved for the loss of his boys' innocence; grieved for the empty place within all of their souls, a spot that would never be filled, try as they might.

An indeterminable amount of time later Matt's sobs slowed. Shame filled him, he was fourteen, nearly a man, but it had felt so good to release his grief while cradled in his father's arms. Feeling a mix of emotions Matt slowly pulled away. Keeping his head down, he couldn't bare to see the look he was sure would be in his father's eyes. He jerked in surprise as fingers grasped his chin, raising his head.

Jesse waited until he could see Matt's eyes. "There isn't anything wrong with expressing your grief son."

"Men aren't supposed to cry. Only weaklings, women and children cry," Matt argued.

"Really? Do you think I'm weak?"

Matt was shocked. His father weak? That was ridiculous, his father was the strongest man he knew and he said as much.

"All this time I've spent holed up in my room, what do you think I've been doing?" Jesse softly asked. He knew, all too well, that common wisdom gave young boys and men the idea that expressing emotion was to be avoided. But when a man was faced with a devasting loss he quickly realized the impossibility of keeping his grief inside.

Matt shrugged.

"I cried son. I cried until I thought there couldn't be any tears left and then I cried some more."

"You did?"

Jesse sighed, it was clear that Matt was shocked by the idea. He realized, in that moment, that he had done his children even more of a disservice than he had first imagined. "I did," he honestly replied. He gently brushed the tears from his son's face. "Tell the truth son, don't you feel better for the tears?"

Matt nodded, he couldn't deny it. "I feel like a burden is...not gone, but lighter. Does that make sense?"

Jesse gave him a sad smile, "perfect sense son." Pulling the boy forward, he hugged him tightly. Silently he promised himself that he wouldn't forget to give his boys these expressions of his love. They would need it if they were to grow into good men, men their mother would be proud of.

"Pa?" Matt said, his voice muffled by his father's chest.

"Yes son?"

"I'm worried about Cody. It ain't right, him clinging to White Eagle and talking Shoshone most of the time. The only time he ain't near White Eagle he's up in the barn loft, looking for something. Even then he keeps track of where White Eagle is. If he don't see him he climbs down and starts looking for him."

"Guess I better have that talk with him now." He held Matt at arms length, quietly looking him over. "Will you be okay?"

Matt nodded. "I want my little brother back."

"You know he'll likely never be the same," Jesse quietly pointed out. "We'll do what we can to help him, but something like this...it leaves a mark on the soul. The kind of mark that never leaves."

"But he'll get better, won't he?" Matt had known the events of that awful day had affected his brother deeply, how could he not? He had thought, with the innocence of youth, that with time his brother would get back to his old self. He was just now realizing that might not happen and it scared him, badly.

Jesse nodded, "I think he will son. I just don't want you expecting him to act like he did before. He'll carry that day with him for the rest of his life; it's bound to affect him."

"I didn't realize, but I won't forget." Matt gave his father a gentle nudge in the direction of the barn. "Go talk to Cody, I'm just gonna sit here by Ma for a bit."

"You take all the time you need son." A quick hug and Jesse finally moved away, heading for the barn and his youngest. He could only hope that he would be able to help Cody. Moving into the yard, he saw White Eagle where he'd left him. Though he knew the young man had probably heard at least some of his conversation with Matt, the Shoshone gave no indication of it. His focus remained where it had been when he and Matt had left. "Has he moved at all?"

White Eagle shook his head. "He does not move much ever."

"What do you suppose he's looking for?" Jesse asked. He hoped White Eagle would have an answer that would help him.

"I do not know. Perhaps he looks for signs of danger, perhaps he looks for the mother he lost."

Jesse swallowed hard. He really hoped the latter wasn't the case. It would be hard enough to convince the boy that men like those who had attacked his family were rare, Jesse didn't know what he would do if Cody was looking for Jacklyn. How would he make the boy understand that she was gone, that there would be no coming back for her? Bracing himself, he headed towards the barn.

Cody had seen his father from the corner of his eye. Even as he watched the distant horizon for anything that could hurt his family, he kept half an eye on the yard and cabin. He wouldn't fail again. He would learn to be aware, the way his papi was. Never again would somebody take him by surprise. He would learn and he would become stronger so he could protect his family. In spite of seeing his father moving towards the barn, he didn't realize Jesse intended to join him in the loft until he heard the creak of the ladder.

Turning away from the loft door, he picked up the stick he had brought up with him. Holding it ready, Cody prepared to swing if anybody other than his father entered the loft.

Jesse blinked, surprised by the sight that greeted him as his head cleared the opening of the loft. "Cody?"

Cody dropped the stick and turned back to the outside door, once again taking up his sentry position. He couldn't look his father in the eyes.

Finishing the climb, Jesse quietly moved towards his youngest. Squatting down beside him, he looked towards the horizon. "Find what you're looking for?"

Cody's gaze never wavered. He was honestly surprised his father was talking to him. When his brother and father had first come home he had been relieved. He had feared they were gone too, that the bad men had found them before they came to his home. He had expected his father to hold him, had braced himself for the pain it would bring. It hadn't happened. Instead his father had spent a couple of minutes by his side before he turned away and entered the room where his mother lay. He didn't blame him. Why would his father want to be near the son who had failed? He had been left behind to look after his mother but he hadn't kept a good lookout and his mother had suffered because of his failure. The young boy forgot, while he was heaping blame on himself, that he was only a child and in all the years they had lived here nothing bad had ever happened, not like that day.

Jesse watched his youngest, the blue eyes never flickering from the task Cody had appointed himself. It concerned him, the stillness of the young child. Cody was only seven years old, he should be running around the yard and the woods, whooping and hollering, not sitting still while silently watching the horizon. As he watched he noticed the child beginning to tremble, for the life of him he couldn't figure out why.

"Cody," he quietly called. The only response was an infintesimal flinch. "Please look at me son." Jesse sucked in a breath. He wasn't sure what he was expecting but the fear and shame he saw in the glistening eyes of his youngest certainly wasn't it. "What is it son?"

Cody looked away. How could he accept the love he saw in his father's eyes? He didn't deserve that love, didn't understand how the man could still love him. "I'm sorry Pa," he finally whispered, the weight of his guilt becoming too heavy to carry any longer.

Jesse was puzzled. "Sorry? Cody son you don't have anything to be sorry about."

"I do," came the nearly inaudible response.

"I don't think you do," Jesse countered. When no further response was forthcoming, he dug deeper. "Alright, what do you think you have to be sorry about?"

Cody swallowed back his tears. He wouldn't cry. Crying would make his father feel sorry for him and he didn't deserve his pity. Stricken by the ennormity of his guilt and failure he managed a stuttering reply, "I ffailed."

Jesse's confusion was growing each time his son spoke. "Failed? I don't understand son, how do you think you failed?"

He was going to make him say it. Cody's small shoulders began to shake with the effort of holding back his tears. "I...Ma...was supposed to look...my job...failed..."

"Oh God," Jesse cried out, pulling the small boy into his arms. "No...no son you didn't fail. I promise you." His heart broke anew as he imagined the horrible guilt Cody must have been carrying all this time. He sighed as he felt the small head nod against his chest.

"You said I had to look after her but they surprised me. Ma had her gun but one of them got me and said he'd shoot me. That's why she put her gun down and then I couldn't stop them from hurting her." Once started, he couldn't seem to stop and the horrors of that day came tumbling out. "They said horrible things to her, called her mean names and they hurt her. I closed my eyes, but I could still hear them, could hear her crying. I don't know how long it was but all of a sudden it got real quiet and then they told me to open my eyes. Ma was there, he was holding her and...and...he cut her throat...her blood was on me Pa and they were laughing. That wasn't the worst." In a small, horrified whisper, he concluded his tale, "Her eyes, before he cut her, she looked at me Pa and her eyes was cold. She hated me cause I failed her."

"Never," Jesse nearly growled. "Your mother could never have hated you Cody. She loved you son. I know you think she blamed you, but you're wrong. Your mother knew where the blame lay, those two men were the only ones to blame for what happened to her."

"But her eyes," Cody protested.

"She was probably in shock." Jesse paused, thinking over his words as he tried to find the best way to explain shock to a seven year old. "Sometimes when a person has been very badly hurt or frightened their mind takes them somewhere else. If you look at a person's eyes when they're in shock they could look cold and hateful, but the truth is they don't even see you. When your mother looked at you that day Cody she didn't know you were in front of her. She never thought you failed her, I swear it." He didn't tell the boy that she had likely felt as if she had failed her son, he didn't need to know that right now.

"Are you sure?" It didn't occur to Cody to ask how his father knew. He was an adult and his father, of course he would know how his mother felt.

"I'm absolutely sure son," Jesse replied, hugging the boy tightly. "You've been looking for more danger up here, haven't you?" He felt the boy nod. "Keeping an eye out for danger is good son, but you can't let it be the only thing in your life. If you don't let yourself relax and just be a little boy then you're not really living, just existing. Your mother wouldn't want that for you. Your brother and I don't want that for you either."

"Neither does White Eagle," Cody mumbled.

Jesse chuckled, "No, neither does White Eagle."

"Is it okay if I still watch sometimes?"

Jesse kissed the top of his head. "Yes, but for every hour you spend up here watching, I want you to spend an hour doing something fun."

Cody didn't feel much like having fun but if that was what his father wanted he would do it. "Okay."

EPILOGUE:

Seven years had passed since that day. Jesse sat on the front porch, thinking back over the years following their personal tragedy. A lot had changed after the day he had finally woke up to living again. There was no miracle that came from the talks he'd had with his boys. There were months of grieving to yet get through, times where one or both of the boys had bad days. Cody more so than Matt, but his oldest had plenty of bad days too. He knew they had both been deeply affected by the loss of their mother. In the case of his blond son, the boy had grown into a fine man. He had stayed on the mountain with his father and brother for a few years. Eventually, as all young men must do, he struck out on his own. Moving into town, he had worked a few odd jobs before helping the sheriff on a posse. The man had been so impressed he had made Matt his deputy. A couple of years later the sheriff had been shot down in the street and the townsfolk had elected to make the young deputy the new sheriff. Jim Cutler, at Matt's request had become the new deputy. He smiled as he thought of the friends his son had made and the young woman he was tentatively courting, a young school-teacher by the name of Robina Kelly. He was well respected in the town too, so much so that when he brought a young, former slave along on a posse, only a small protest was made. It helped of course that Tim Hart was himself a respected ranch hand who had proven himself to be a loyal, hard-working young man. Matt never had any lack of aid when he needed it, but he seemed to count mostly on a small group of men. Along with Jim and Tim, the local blacksmith, Issaiah (Izzy) Flowers, was another Matt could depend on. Surprisingly he sometimes even asked White Eagle for help.

White Eagle had never left after the day Jacklyn died. Ignoring the few protests from neighbors, Jesse had welcomed the young Shoshone into their small family. To this day he was sometimes the only one Cody would speak to, especially after a nightmare. When the Shoshone had been forced onto a reservation, Jesse had went to the local Indian agent and pledging responsibility had gained permission for White Eagle to remain on the mountain with he and his son.

Cody had come the furthest and yet still had the furthest to go. As he had warned Matt, the boy would never fully recover from the horrors of that long ago day. Most of his time was spent on the mountain, the one place he felt comfortable and at home. On the few ocassions they had company or went to town, Cody generally stayed in the shadows, keeping a silent watch for danger, determined to never again let his family down. For no matter how many times he had been told it wasn't his fault, the boy still carried the guilt of what he deemed his failure. Jesse sighed, he supposed he should be grateful that the boy only grew silent and watchful in the presence of other white men, mostly those he didn't know. Among those he knew, or alone on his beloved mountain Cody was like any other boy his age, albeit a bit more solemn than most.

Looking towards the trail, he smiled as he heard Cody and White Eagle conversing in Shoshone. From what he could hear it sounded like they would be having fish tonight. Standing up, he moved into the house. If they were having fish, there were a few things he needed to get ready.

The End.

I am so sorry it took so long to finish this story. All I can say is I got his with a case of writer's block from hell. I have some other story ideas, some in this universe, some in the normal universe. Given the nasty blockage I suffered from, and y'all along with me, I have made one definite decision. I'm returning to the way I originally wrote, meaning I won't start posting until the story is complete. That way if another bout of writer's block hits me, I'll be the only one to suffer. ;)

Please review, I'd love to know what y'all thought of the story.


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